Page 90 of The King's Maiden

“I told you, Quinn.” He tipped my chin up, his eyes anchoring to mine as the memories threatened to drown me. “I know when to push and when to pull back.”

Like it seemed to do every time, his touch soothed me, offering a calm within the storm brewing inside me. I sniffled and nodded, but he didn’t let me go. His thumb brushed my bottom lip, and he stared at my parted mouth like it held the answers to life itself.

I searched his face for a sign that maybe—just maybe—he planned to break the rules and press his lips to mine.

But he didn’t bridge the gap.

“I wish I didn’t remember it. But it’s as vivid in my mind as it is in my heart.”

“You loved him.” He cleared his throat. “Your dad? He was…He was a good dad?”

“He was thebestdad.”

Wrapping my arms around myself, tears welled in my eyes. Landon didn’t say anything else or press me for more information. He just sat with me, rubbing circles over my skin while I pushed away memories I didn’t want to face. Memories that crashed against the barriers I’d erected in my mind, trying to force their way out.

I got up from his lap and went into the bathroom, grabbing my bag on my way in and using my inhaler as I stared at myself in the mirror.

When the blurred edges of my vision cleared, I splashed cold water on my face. I went back out to the bedroom and climbed back into Landon’s lap. And we stared out the window for a long time, looking out at the lake and each getting lost in our own thoughts.

Until, eventually, the world grew dark, and Landon suggested getting in bed.

“You sleep. I think I want to read for a little bit.”

As he climbed out from behind me and got ready for bed, I pulled out my dad’s copy ofThe Princess Brideand ran my hands over the cover and spine. I flipped it open to my bookmark and started reading, my eyes blurring as I stared at the notes written in the margin on nearly every page. Little details my dad had left to guide me through the story when I was younger. I read them now like they were the secret notes he’d left for me around the house.

Hidden reminders of how much he loved me—of how proud he was of me.

Even though I didn’t deserve them anymore.

The next day, Landon and I walked around the lake all morning, talking about school and our plans for the future. He told me about his family’s expectations after graduation, something else that made me feel sad, and he asked me about dance. I refused to dance when he requested it.

“That’s alright. We’ll put a pin in that.”

“Don’t hold your breath.” I snorted, twirling on the ball of my foot.

He grabbed my hips before I could get away. And that was the end of our walkingandtalking time for the morning. Throwing me over his shoulder, he raced back to the room with my laughter trailing behind us down the halls.

Later, as I collapsed on the bed and unlocked my thighs from around his head, I found myself completely sated and yet still wanting more again.

But like every other time we had gotten close to moving forward and crossing that final barrier, he pulled back.

He wiped the remnants of my last orgasm off his face before sucking his fingers clean, completely unashamed. When he lifted his head to find me staring at him from between my legs, he looked like he’d just been caught with his hand in a cookie jar.

“What’d I do? Was it the butt thing? I know we haven’t really talked about that limit, but I didn’t want to make a mess and I thought you enjoyed it?”

I did.

But that wasn’t the point.

So, instead of responding to his question, I redirected. “Can I ask you something?”

He had the good sense to eye me warily, but still nodded at me to go ahead.

“I don’t want you to think I’m…” I searched for the right words. “Not grateful for all the orgasms, of course. They’re top notch. Never should’ve doubted you.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “But?”

“I think I’m ready for more.”

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