Page 16 of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Us, Daddy

“I’d be proud to be your dad, Benjamin.” I kiss each of his eyelids, then the tip of his nose. Behind him, Bennet’s staring at me with an expression I can’t read. I want him included in this. If he wants to call me Dad, he can. I think I’d like that more than I’ve ever liked anything. “What about you, buddy? Are you sticking with ‘Nate’?”

He bites his bottom lip and studies me for a beat before snaking his arm around Benji’s waist and holding him close. “Is it okay if I don’t know yet?”

To answer, I give him my warmest smile before bringing my thumb to my lips and planting a kiss on the tip. I press the tip of my thumb against the corner of his mouth, happy to see his nervous expression fade, leaving me with the bright SunshineBear side of him. He looks more at peace than I’ve ever seen him, and knowing I’m the cause of that happiness—even if only partially—makes me proud. I want to see him smile more often. Ineedit to stay there as his default setting, because that smile is too dang beautiful to hide from the world.

“I love you, boys,” I say, kissing Benji’s forehead, then Bennet’s. “Thank you for sharing this with me tonight. I’m honored that you’d trust me with something this important.”

“Will you keep helping us?” Bennet asks, catching me off guard.

“What do you mean?”

“This is all new for us, and I think we’re both still nervous about exploring. You made it easy for us.”

I open my mouth to tell them it’s a ridiculous plan, but Bennet cuts me off. “I mean, we could always just go find some stranger to show us the ropes, but they won’t be gentle like you. They might take advantage of us.” He pouts, his bottom lip jutting out. “You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

The mental image of my Bennet’s small, delicate hole flashes through my mind, and I find myself clenching my fists through no action of my own. No one is going to hurt them. There will be no demolished holes or anal prolapses in their future. Not while they’re living under my roof. They’ll abide by my rules, even if I’m simply making them up on the go.

“You can’t, actually,” I say.

Bennet raises an eyebrow. “Can’t what?”

“Find someone else to help. I’ll help you both as best I can, but I don’t want either of you looking for outside sources. Understood?”

Benji looks over his shoulder at Bennet with a wide, bright smile. “Told you so.”

“Told him what?” I ask, but Benji just giggles and buries his face in my chest. As he snuggles even closer to me, Bennet peekshis head up long enough to kiss the side of his best friend’s face. He stares at me, neither of us moving, both of us barely breathing, though for the life of me, I don’t understand why this gaze feels so special. It’s like he’s looking straight into my soul, and unlike those already acquainted with the parts of me I tend to keep hidden, he doesn’t hate the view. He glances down at Benji one more time before quickly leaning over him and kissing me on the cheek. When he pulls away, his cheeks are red with embarrassment, but my smile seems to put him at ease.

Below, Benji smiles at me through sleepy eyes. Once they’re closed, he exhales contentedly, before whispering, “Night-night, Dad.”

“Good night, boys.”

CHAPTER 5

BENNET

Ican’t remember the last time I slept so well as I did when cuddled beside Benji, with Nate’s arm draped over him, caressing my hip. My dreams were of happily-ever-after and all the sordid situations that come with it. I should be walking on clouds right now, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get my head on straight.

When we woke up, Benji and I showered together as usual, washing away the musky scent of sex still clinging to our bodies. Neither of us spoke much at all. This new twist in our relationship is one I didn’t see coming. I can say with full honesty I have never thought about Benji sexually. A bit queer, considering our past entanglements. I can’t count the number of times I’ve knelt at his side, holding his hand as one of our many boyfriends fucked him. Kissing his forehead. Brushing his damp hair from his eyes. Whispering what a good boy he is. Now, things have changed. Whether that’s for the better, I’m not entirely sure. Part of me wants to lean into the madness and wrap him in my arms. Maybe I would if I didn’t feel like death warmed over.

“You look terrible,” Benji says. He’s sitting in his chair behind the shared desk the agency assigned us. We’ve only beenhere an hour, and I’m already dreaming of the moment I make it home, climb the stairs, and fall into bed. When we arrived, Meadows had a box of papers on our desk, and a nervous smile aimed right at us. He apologized, telling us even though he promised we’d rarely actually have to do any work here, the agency was short staffed, and told us we’d be lifesavers if we could transfer the data from the field reports—whatever the hell that means—into the tracking system. I tried focusing on the work for as long as I could, but I only lasted ten minutes before needing to rest my head on the desk.

I wish Nate was here. He’d make it better. He makes everything better.

“I hate this job,” I groan. It’s not that I mind this work specifically, I just really don’t want to work. Definitely not when I feel like I’m dying. Maybe not ever. Oh, who the hell knows; it feels like my head’s going to burst and I can barely see straight.

“I’m calling Dad,” Benji says, snapping me back to reality.

“Huh?”

He’s got his phone wedged between his shoulder and ear, and he’s got the back of his hand pressed against my forehead. “You’re burning up.” His voice is so soft. It’s like cashmere and twinkish exuberance. “Do you think we should have Meadows take a look at you? He’s a surgeon. He might be able to help.”

“I’m fine.” I’m not fine, actually, but he doesn’t need to know that. Aside from my headache, it feels like I’ve swallowed glass. My throat is raw, and every attempted word is agony.

“Clearly, you’re not.” He pauses. “Dad! Oh, thank God. Listen, we need you. Bennet needs you. He’s burning up and it looks like he’s going to be sick.” He covers the phone with his hand. “Please don’t throw up. We work at a hitman agency. They might kill us.”

I lay my head on the desk because my insides are spinning and I’m feeling really tired. Benji’s got his hand on my back, butI’m sweating like a slut-tastic twink in church, and I really don’t want to dirty him up.

“Benji,” I whine, squeezing my eyes shut tight. “Benji, everything hurts.”

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