Page 34 of Forever

“Nothing is wrong. Life is just unfair sometimes, and you don’t have to be happy about it, but please, Bel, don’t cry. You’re killing me.”

Closing my eyes, I will myself to calm down. It’s hard. So fucking hard. I want to cry. I want to be selfish and damn the life and everything that’s holy, but I’m not hurting anybody but Will and myself.

Will picks me up in his arms and takes us to bed. I straddle his lap and move as close as possible to him. If I could I would get under his skin. Anything just to be together.

His hands rub my back, trying to calm me down. I can feel the pressure of his lips against my temple.

I don’t know how long we sit in silence. Me straddling his lap, his hands wrapped tightly around me and the blanket covering us from the ice cold of the reality.

“When do you have to go?” I barely whisper. My voice is low and rough from all the crying.

“Early morning.”

Another sob tries to break out of my lungs, but I stop it.

“That’s in a few hours.”

“I’m—”

I don’t let him finish the sentence. I cover his lips with the tip of my finger. His hot breath touches my cold skin.

I swallow hard before speaking. “I don’t think I can do it once again, Will.”

“What are you …”

Shaking my head, I press my lips against his in a tender kiss. All those emotions pure and dark transferred into one simple kiss.

I’m not going away.

I’m yours and you’re mine.

Forever.

Kiss after kiss, I erase all his doubts. I might be weak, but I’m not a coward.

“Love me tonight, William.”

*

WILLIAM

After we made love, Bel finally drifted to sleep. I guess all these emotions finally got the best of her. Thank god for that, because I don’t think I would be able to take anymore of her tears. I knew telling her I have to leave early won’t be easy, but I didn’t expect this kind of a meltdown.

Anabel is always so strong. So guarded. But this going back and forth gets the best of her every single time. I can’t blame her for not wanting to send me off because I know I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes. I can’t put her through this pain once again. Every time we have to say goodbye it’s harder and harder.

We were fooling ourselves last year when we thought being together and doing this long-distance would be easy. There’s nothing easy about having to leave the person you love behind. There is nothing easy about not being able to touch the one you love every day, to feel them beside you. But at the same time, I know I wouldn’t have it any other way. No matter how hard it is, no matter how many tears I caused her to cry, no matter how much Bel’s crying hurts me, I would take it all over again just to be with her.

Just to have her love.

Tugging a runaway strand behind her ear I feel her hands grip my body stronger.

Even in her sleep, she’s holding onto me. Even in her sleep she’s afraid of losing me.

The first thought warms me, but the second is like a bucket of ice water thrown over my head.

There is no escaping these contradictory feelings.

Bel murmurs something incoherently in her sleep, her body snuggling more into my side.

Two months. That’s how long we have to survive until our forever will begin.

Just two more months.

Nothing wrong can happen in sixty days.

Right?

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