Page 46 of Forever

“Tink …”

Her name is just a whisper that fills the space between us. My finger traces the screen. I want to touch her so badly. If I could I would go through the screen to be with her. I would wrap my hands around her body and pull her close to me. I would cup her cheeks and bring her face to me, kiss her senselessly. Long, hard, and possessive so that once I’m done there is no doubt in her brain that there isn’t and will never be anyone else besides her.

She’s my everything.

My forever.

Anabel is close enough that I can see tears fill her eyes. They slay me. She slays me. This—seeing her hurting, tears pooling her eyes—is worse than anything else. It’s like a punch in the nuts and knockout in one.

I swallow hard, Adam’s apple bobbling with the motion. “I love you, Anabel Majer. I love you with every cell in my body. With every breath I take and every beat of my heart. It’s all for you. I should have told you about Emma. I should have told you she joined us that night I went out with J.D. But that is the only mistake I made. One I do not plan to repeat again.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice is weak and raspy. I can feel her doubts and insecurities from the other side of Atlantic. “Did you think I wouldn’t l-let you hang out with her because she’s a woman?”

“What? No!” I yell, but when she flinches at my tone I lower it down a notch. “I know you wouldn’t mind me hanging out with her, but I know how all this long-distance shit and one of us always walking away has gotten to you. I feel it, baby. I hurt too. I’m done with walking away. I’m done with letting you go.”

“It’ll happen again. You have to travel for football.” Anabel sniffles softly.

“Yes.” I nod. “But you can come with me. Writers can work from wherever.”

“You’ve been thinking about everything.”

I shake my head. “You’re my everything, Bel. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“Me too. I love you, Will.” One lone tear falls down her cheek. “Sometimes it scares the shit out of me how much I love you. I didn’t believe it’s possible to feel this way.”

“I know,” I agree.

My fingers itch to wipe the tear away. I want to kiss her so badly. Make her forget all the bad things and concentrate on good ones. I want to erase all the ugly memories and replace them with new ones. But I can’t because she’s in Croatia, and I’m stuck here in States.

“It scares me too. But what scares me more is the thought of losing you.”

“You’re not losing me.” Her finger reaches for the camera. It’s like she too wants to touch me but can’t.

“I love you, Bel.”

“I love you too, Will,” she whispers. Blue eyes shine just a tad brighter.

“No more secrets,” I promise.

Something falls over her eyes. Something dark, but she steers them to the side. “No more secrets.”

Her eyes come back to me, the darkness is gone. But, somehow, I can’t erase it from my mind. Is it really over? Are our secrets finally behind us?

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