Page 45 of Forever

The apartment suddenly feels too small. Walls are closing on me, and I feel trapped inside with no way out.

No way to get to Anabel.

No way to explain.

No way to make her listen.

“You should know better than that! Bel is feeling vulnerable now. That’s why I didn’t tell her anything.” I rub my face, trying to ease the throbbing pain in my temples. “You didn’t see her just before I had to come back home. She was fucking broken. She cried so hard. She begged and pleaded and demanded, but there was nothing I could do to ease her pain.”

I close my eyes, and I can see it all so clearly again. Bel’s tear-stained face, her blue eyes swollen and red. The memory of her fists pounding at my chest is so clear it matched the beat of my heart. And her sobs … Oh, God, those painful, broken sobs still hunt me in my dreams.

Chasing the memory away, I open my eyes and look at Sienna. All the fight that was in her when I opened my door is gone. Vanished. The only thing left behind is regret. Regret and sorrow.

“Will, I …”

“Don’t,” I interrupt her, shaking my head. “I have to call her. I have to make this better.”

Si nods her head in understanding. Her short, honey-colored hair swaying with the motion. “I’m sorry. I should have come to you first. I …”

“You should have,” I agree, taking the phone out of my pocket and turning my back on her.

This isn’t about Sienna. This is about Anabel. About my Tinkerbell, and I have to make it right before everything falls apart before it even began.

She knows I love her, I don’t doubt that for a second, but this forced distance between us makes the lines blurry. Brings out insecurities we didn’t even know existed until the point they’re here. Impeding. Hanging over our heads and whispering things that don’t exist into our ear. Making us believe our worst fears and insecurities are more than just fiction.

The phone rings and rings. With every beep that goes unanswered I feel my heart sink down even lower, dread washing over me. Fear is squeezing my heart so strong I’m afraid it’ll break.

What if she doesn’t answer?

What if she already gave up on me? On us?

How do I make a girl that is so fragile and vulnerable believe that nothing, absolutely nothing, can come between us?

Finally, before I can tear myself with more what ifs, hows and whens, the beeping stops. At first, I think the call was disconnected but then I hear her soft breathing on the other side of the line.

Anabel maybe is hundreds of miles away from me, but at this moment I can almost feel her warm breath touch my skin.

I squeeze me eyes shut, allowing myself only a fraction of a second to enjoy the sound of her. Relief washes over me, but it doesn’t last long.

“Baby …?” I rasp, a note of desperation in my low voice.

It feels hard to talk. My throat is dry, and every swallow is painful.

“William …”

“Bel, babe, please let me explain. Okay?” I don’t let her speak. If I do, I’ll give her a chance to dump my sorry ass and that is not happening. “That is definitely not what it looks like.”

She laughs, but there is nothing funny in her tone. “Why does this feel like something from a cheesy movie?”

“If it’s something from a cheesy movie than you should know that I’m right. Let me see you. Give me a chance to explain,” I plead with her.

There is nothing I wouldn’t do for this girl.

Silence stretches between us. Almost as long as the miles that separate us.

“Okay,” she finally agrees, and I don’t wait for a second longer. I pull the phone off my ear and select a video call.

Her face shows on the screen soon after. It’s slightly blurry, but soon she’s in focus. The room is dim, but I can see her lying in the bed. Hands are gripping the pillow under her cheek. She’s pale, and her blue eyes seem even bigger. They swallow her face completely. She’s not crying, but her eyes are still red which means she did cry.

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