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If I didn’t see my reflection in the mirror a couple of hours before, I wouldn’t know what he was talking about, but I saw it. I saw my tangled, dirty hair. I saw tear stains on my cheeks and puffy eyes. I saw how empty, howbroken, they were.

And it hurt.

What Derek did hurt, but it also hurt seeing myself broken like this. And I could only try to imagine what my friends and parents saw, what they’ve been seeing for days.

“I’ll try,” I try to smile, but Max sees right through me.

He takes one step forward, his strong hands curling around my body and pulling me close to him.

Max is a touchy guy. That’s nothing new.

He has a big variety of ‘guy shakes’ he uses with his friends and guys on the team. When he flirts with girls there is always a slight touch here and a brush there. With Jeanette around, he likes to tease her or just hug her. She mostly pretends like he’s irritating her, but I can see girly delight hidden deep in her grey eyes. He is the same with me, half-hugs or bear hugs when he is really excited, but this is the first time he has tried comforting me.

Max’s big body is enveloping mine, heat radiating off of him, warming my body in the cold night air. His chin is resting on the top of my head, and his hands slowly rub my back.

“He’s an idiot.”

I don’t have to ask who he is talking about, because we both know. There is no sense in playing dense.

“How bad is it?”

“Not too bad,” he says, but a small wince is a clear giveaway that he’s lying.

Tilting my head back, I look him in the eyes.

“Okay, maybe a bit bad.” He sighs. “Diamond and her friends spread the word that Derek’s been fooling around with Sophie behind your back.”

I close my eyes at the sound of his name.

This sadness, this yearning ... thinking about him, it’s asphyxiating. Painful. Because every thought, every mention of his name, even if it’s only a whisper, brings back memories. So many memories. Good or bad, in the end, it doesn’t matter because it’s the same.

God, I miss him so much.

I miss him and I hate him.

Both at the same time.

How crazy is that?

“It could have been worse.”

“How?”

“There could have been naked pictures of you posted all around school.”

I laugh, although there is nothing funny about it. Actually, the thought of seeing naked pictures of myself or anybody else shared around the school makes me nauseous. But, the sad part is, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear something like that happened to someone somewhere. We live in a world filled with crazy, hateful people.

“I guess so.”

Max’s hands move up my hands and onto my shoulders. He gives me a soft squeeze and he bends his head down.

For a split second, I think he’ll kiss me. His head comes close to mine. His grey eyes look at me with tenderness. One of his hands is on my cheek, cupping it and holding me still.

I inhale sharply, breath getting stuck in my throat as I look at him moving closer.

My heart starts beating so fast in my chest, that it’s crazy. Max isn’t interested in me like that. No way.

Instead of actually kissing me, his lips land on my forehead. A hard press of soft skin makes me close my eyes. It’s soothing and consoling. Not a lover’s kind of kiss. It’s more like a friend’s, a brother’s.

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