Page 105 of Habits

“I just didn’t see the chair.” I pull my arm out of his hand. “I need something to drink.”

“What you need is a cold shower to sober you up, that’s what you need.”

Hands wrap around my arm again and turn me in the opposite direction of the bar.

How am I going to get my drink if not from the bar? The old man stashed all the good stuff there.

“I need a drink …” I protest again, trying to get out of his hold, but he’s not letting me.

“Of coffee,” Derek finishes. “You need a drink of coffee. It’ll bring a little bit of clarity to your foggy brain, you jackass. I’m not sure there is any chance at saving your sanity though.”

“N-no.” I shake my head, but it feels heavy. Why is it so heavy? And why is the whole room spinning?

“Yes, you’ve been like this for far too long. It’s time to sober up and get your shit under control, Andrew. We have a game coming in a couple of days, and we need you if we’re going to win it. Coach was so pissed that you didn’t show up to practice yetagain,and I took half an hour of him drilling my ass, threatening he’ll bench you before I managed to calm him down and get you anotherlastshot. You won’t mess it up. I won’t let you.”

“I can’t. I just can’t.” I shake my head again. The panic washes over me, making my heart beat fast and my lungs close up. Cold sweat coats my skin, and I tug at the neckline of my shirt. Why is it so hot in here?

“Yes, you can,” Derek insists, half carrying my body up the stairs toward my room. “I don’t know what caused your latest freak-out, but whatever it is, we’ll deal with it once we get you sobered up.”

“You c-can’t,” I pant. Why is it so hard to breathe in here? I need air. “S-she …” I try to open my lungs, but they’re just squeezed so tight. “ … l-left.”

My legs wobble underneath me, and for a split second, Derek loses his hold on me. I fall to the ground, my knees hitting the cool, hard floor, the impact resounding in the empty house.

“Andrew!”

Derek tries to get me back on my feet, but I don’t have it in me. I shake my head, telling him to leave me alone, to let me be, but he doesn’t get it.

“S-she l-left m-me…”

Andrew

“Do you feel better now?”

“Will you leave if I say I do?”

Derek throws himself in the recliner opposite me, getting comfortable. I guess that answers it. He’s here to stay whether I want him to or not.

“Not so fast, buddy.”

“Figures,” I mutter, busying myself with finishing the burger in front of me.

After Derek got me to my room, he put me under an ice cold shower until my balls froze to death and my mind cleared from all the substances. Or as much as you can get rid of with the shower from hell. One thing is sure, a cold shower is a wake-up call like no other and one I don’t wish to repeat anytime soon.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Andrew …” he drawls, a warning note in his tone.

“Talking about my feelings won’t change a thing; it’ll only piss me off more.” I roll my eyes and take a sip from the cup he put next to my plate. My throat feels dry and itchy, and although I’d love to get up and pour myself a glass of whiskey from the bar, I know as long as Derek’s here that’s out of the question.

When the tasteless, bland liquid touches my tongue I can barely hold it in.

“What the fuck is that?” I yell as soon as I swallow the disgusting drink.

“Green tea. I think I saw somewhere that it helps with detox. God knows you need it.”

“That tastes like crap.”

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