Page 26 of Habits

So close I’m surrounded by his intoxicating smell. The smell of clean, hot male and some sexy cologne and that bloody Mary.

The sweet, offensive smell brings me back out of my passion-induced haze.

What the hell am I doing? I can’t go down this road again. I can’t. And being with Andrew, doing whatever the hell we’re doing right now, can’t possibly result in anything sane. I don’t have the luxury of going back to my old habits. Not again. Never again. I promised.

That’s why I abruptly break the kiss. My hands, that only a second ago were pulling him closer, push him away.

“What …”

“You better go home, Andrew,” I interrupt him quietly, before I turn around and walk back into my house without sparing him another glance.

Andrew

Forcefully shutting the door behind me, I listen to the bang echo around the empty house as I stride through the dark hallways without bothering to turn on the lights. It’s not like anyone will notice or be grateful for it anyway.

My body is still shaking uncontrollably, both from repressed anger and sexual frustration.

This girl …

This fucking girl …

My hands still tremble with the need to grab her and make her melt under me. To crush my lips over hers and hear her moan my name loudly as I subdue her to my will.

I shake my head, trying to erase from my mind the image of Jeanette Sanders in my arms. Nothing good will come of it. Not only is she my teammate’s sister, which makes her strictly off limits, but also thinking of her only makes my cock throb stronger and my irritation grow bigger.

Growling in frustration, I go straight to the living room and the bar Dad keeps stocked with alcohol at all times. Grabbing one of his fancy crystal glasses, I fill it with vodka to the top. Throwing my head back, I down it all in one go without blinking.

The crystalclinksas I slam it down on top of the bar. Pouring a second glass of vodka, I urge myself to chill the fuck out. I take a small sip, this time intent on savoring the drink instead of throwing it down my throat like it’s a glass of water.

The drink burns in my throat, warming me up from the inside out. My hands still shake as I lower the glass to the hard surface. Inhaling slowly, I let the air leave my lungs in a controlled hiss. Only then, slowly, do I will my fingers to relax from their stiff position. They’re still shaking, but at least they’re not clenched tight.

Knowing there is only one way to relax fully and forget this fucked-up day, I let my hand slide into my back pocket. Grabbing the baggy inside, I take it out and let it dangle between my fingers for a few seconds.

My eyes follow it as it slides though the air before I give a virtual ‘fuck you’ to the whole world and roll a joint. I put it between my lips and light it up, taking in a deep, shaky breath. Inhaling the sweet scent, I finally feel my body relax.

Fucking Jeanette Sanders. Making my dick itch and then brushing me off before I had her scratch it. For the second time, no less.

I don’t remember the last time I hooked up with the same girl without getting my happy ending.

Never. That’s when.

N.E.V.E.R.

Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am. That’s been my motto since I’ve known what to do with my dick, and now she’s messing with my head. No pun intended.

Running my hand through my hair, I throw myself onto the couch, taking one deep pull and holding it in before I let the smoke out.

My eyes zoom in on the little puffy clouds lifting in the air as my thoughts turn back toher.

The way she was standing in that room, completely immersed in her music. The way her shirt fell off her shoulder, revealing that sexy, smooth skin. The way her beautiful, haunting melody called to me.

My chest tightens at the thought, but I push it away.

My fingers grip the cool crystal harder before I bring the glass to my lips and take one long pull, emptying what’s left.

I bring the blunt to my lips just as a cool, collected voice murmurs from behind, “Surrendering to your vices, as usual, I see.”

A soft chuckle escapes me. Without gracing him with even a side glance, I get off the couch and go to the bar. This night is getting better by the minute, and the only way to keep even the slightest bit of sanity is to keep drinking.

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