Page 4 of Habits

I was worried how everything would affect him. He’s hung around Lia almost since the day we stepped foot in this town. He’s always with her, following her like a little, enamored puppy. He tells silly jokes to make her laugh and teases her. He does his best to help her and always acts like a gentleman when she’s around. I was ready to bet he was falling in love. But if he was in love with her, wouldn’t he do something about it? Wouldn’t he form a game plan to win her over once Derek screwed up? Instead, he was helpinghimget her back.

Either he’s one really big, masochistic idiot, or he’s not as in love with Lia as the whole school would like to believe.

I should probably know it. Sense it somehow. We are twins, for God’s sake. Two beings that came from the same cells. We spent the first nine months of our lives cramped in a small space, and in our seventeen years on this planet, we’ve only been apart a handful of times. I can feel when he’s hurt. I can sense his mood swings. And sometimes, unintentionally, my subconscious brings me to him. But I don’t know this.

I don’t know if my brother is in love with Amelia or not.

Probably because lately, we have lost our way. Everything changed before we moved, and now, now we’re trying to deal with it. Trying to find our way back to what we once were.

My thoughts are interrupted whenhejoins them.

Andrew Hill.

Partier.

Womanizer.

Daddy’s golden boy.

Hot-shot hockey player.

Cocky, presumptuous, but I have to give it to him, one smart son of a bitch.

He joins the rest of his teammates and friends, swagger oozing from every pore of his body.

His brown hair is messy and curls at the base of his neck. His lips curl into one of his well-known, arrogant smirks, revealing straight teeth. I’m standing too far from him to clearly see the color of his eyes or the lines of his face, but I know them.

I’ve touched them.

Andrew would look almost perfect if there wasn’t a slight bump on his nose. That small imperfection makes him look more rugged. More real.

His eyes always have this gleam in them. I’ve heard what people say. They call it mischievous, but I know better. I can see behind it.

I can see his darkness.

Because it matches my own.

He and his buddies are overly preoccupied with whatever they’ve been discussing, so I keep looking at them. It always amazes me how easy guy friendships are.

For years, I’ve watched my brother be the center of the group. He’s the funny one. The easy-going twin. The jokester. People have always gravitated toward him, and he always had a bunch of friends.

And I have always been his polar opposite. Max never left me to fend for myself, but I never really felt like part of the group, either. Friendships and opening up never came easy to me.

Then high school happened. Things changed and here we are. Lost in the limbo of guilt, hurt and betrayal.

You could try opening up to Lia and Brook.

I ignore the little voice inside my head. Or at least try to, but it’s been getting louder and louder the last couple of weeks, since that night I spent at Lia’s house.

I don’t want friends. Don’t need them. I tried once and look where it got me. You open your heart to people, willingly give them power over you, and you’ll lose the most essential part of who you are.

Loud laughter startles me out of my dark thoughts.

Max and his friends are laughing hard at God only knows what. Drew’s head is thrown back, his neck exposed. My tongue darts out to wet my suddenly dry lips.

I’ve kissed that skin once, and I can still feel the texture of it on my lips.

A group of girls walks toward them, all of them wearing revealing costumes. Extremely short skirts and hooker heels. Even from here and in the darkness of the room, I can see that their hair and make-up are done perfectly because they shine in the dark.

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