Page 63 of Habits

Just the thought of getting up turns my stomach, the bile rising. “The cleaning crew should be here soon.”

“They won’t.” He pulls the covers off my body, the cool air touching my naked skin. “Get your ass out of bed and clean your shit. I have investors coming in an hour.”

I groan loudly, pulling the pillow over my head.

Shit doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“Oh, and Andrew?” Sighing, I remove the pillow to look at his retreating form. “The charity gala is this weekend. You better be on your best behavior.”

Irritated, I yell after him, “I didn’t sign up for that!”

“Not going was never an option,” he throws over his shoulders. “Now go and clean up that mess before the investors come.”

* * *

Sneaking my stick past Derek’s defense, I steal the puck from right under his nose. Two powerful pushes of my legs and he’s left in my dust as I glide the black rubber over the smooth ice. Harder. I push myself harder until the net comes into view. Making a short swing, the stick connects to the puck, sending it flying into the goal.

“Suck it, loser.” I turn around to face a slightly breathless Derek. “Two weeks off the ice and you’re all winded like some grandpa.”

He shakes his head at me. “Try having a concussion and then let me know, dickwad,” he says, but there is no bite to his words.

“What has your panties in a twist anyway? You never come to the rink early, much less put this much effort into it.”

You’d think I’d get offended by that, but you’d be wrong. The guy is telling the truth. As much as I enjoy hockey and it lets me lose some steam, it’s not my dream to play with the big boys. I’m leaving that to Derek, and well, Max.

“Can’t a guy just want to shoot some shit with his friend?”

Derek gives me a pointed look. I guess he knows me better than most people and can see right through my shit.

“Dad’s been riding my ass about the partying.”

“Mr. Hill? What for? I thought he wasn’t around much …” He leaves whatever he wanted to say hanging in the tense air between us.

“Apparently, he’s ready to play daddy dearest.” I shrug, like it doesn’t matter, when in reality it does.

When Mom left us, it crushed me. For weeks,months, I waited for her to come home. Waited and hoped that she’d change her mind and come back to us and we’d be a family again. I needed her,weneeded her, and she just up and left.

FormonthsI asked myself what I did wrong. Did I do something to make her leave? Would she have stayed if I had better grades? Or maybe if I cleaned my room more often? Maybe if I didn’t spend so much time at practice and with my friends, she would still be here. But it’s not just her I lost when she walked away.

No, I lost both of my parents, because after that day, Dad has never been the same. Gone were the days we would go and play hockey or he’d take me to watch our favorite team play. Gone were the days we’d go to the park or arcade together. No more staying up late to watch movies, or days when we’d stay alone and eat our weight in junk food. All of it gone in the blink of an eye.

She left us, and he left me.

I lost everything, all in one day.

And now he thinks that a few public stunts for his campaign and a charity event give him control over my life?

Where was he when I was eight, all alone at night waiting for him to come home? In the end, I gave up on waiting and ate cereal for dinner by myself.

Where was he when I was ten and broke my hand while riding bikes with Derek? Oh yes, he was somewhere on the other side of the state saving some rich kid from prison time.

Where was he when I was twelve and almost burned the house down trying to cook something for dinner because our housekeeper was sick? Most likely somewhere fucking his very personal assistant of the month.

Every time I needed him, he wasn’t there.

Yeah, we shared the house, but he was hardly around and I was left alone.

Going to the goal, I fetch the puck, and then start skating toward the other side of the rink.

---