Page 18 of Habits

“And that he’s happy she's finally found some girl company. He thanked me for reaching out because she’s really shy.”

The tears roll down my cheeks. Why has he been talking to them?Thankingthem? Like I’m some charity case.

“If only he knew he’s the only reason we’re hanging out with her in the first place …”

The front door opens and closes. Quickly, I swipe the tears away as best I can before I lift my gaze and find Max standing in front of me.

“Hey, Anette!” He smiles. “I didn’t know you were home.”

“Stu…” My voice breaks, so I clear my throat before trying again. “Study group.”

“Oh …” He looks over my shoulder in the direction of the kitchen, where we can still hear quiet chatter. “I’m so happy you all are hanging out.”

Would you still feel that way if you knew you’re the only reason they’re pretending to be friends with the fat, clueless girl?I want to ask him so badly, but I bite my tongue. For the first time, he seems genuinely happy.

I know it’s been hard on him. Hard onus.With our mom always preoccupied with her board meetings and friends and country club and Dad busy with his medical work, it’s been just the two of us against the world. For years it’s been us, and when you’re as close as we are, it’s hard to let go. But I can see it. He wants to let go. He wants to be his own person and not just my twin, but at the same time, he doesn’t want me to feel left out.

So no matter how much it pains me, I have to let go. Because if I tell him what I just heard … he won’t do that. I know he’d never do that.

“Yeah, we’re almost done though.”

Max nods his head. “I’m going to take a shower. Dinner and movies later?”

My eyes fall down, and I look at my body.

D.U.F.F.

Fat.

Clueless.

Ugly.

Trunks of a three-hundred-year-old tree.

The words resound in my mind over and over again until I feel like my head will explode. I switch my weight from one foot to the other, and my thighs brush together.

For the first time in my life, I feel disgust wash over me. I feel fat and ugly and all I can think about is taking a shower and scrubbing that feeling off my body.

“No, I have some homework to finish. Sorry.”

His brows furrow in confusion. I’ve never before rejected the opportunity for us to hang out.

“Okay. I’ll be in my room.”

I nod once, watching him climb the stairs. With Max out of my sight, I take one deep breath and go back into the kitchen.

“Was that Max?” Maddaline asks as soon as I pass the door.

My eyes meet hers, and for the first time, I can see the real her.

Calculating.

Cold.

Manipulative.

When she says Max’s name, her eyes have that special gleam in them. She wants him. Badly.

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