Page 123 of Rules

And Jeanette freaked like that over an accident? At him specifically?

“It’s more than that, Dad. I know Jeanette. She wouldn’t throw you out of the room if…”

“Dr. Sanders, I got the results…” A young nurse looks at me, her cheeks flushing. “I’m sorry; I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“You didn’t interrupt anything,” Dad says sweetly while giving me a hard stare that clearly says to leave it alone. “Let me look at those…”

I grit my teeth as I watch them leave.

The door to Jeanette’s room is still closed, so I decide to sit down while I wait, pondering over the whole thing.

Now more than ever, I know that he is hiding something, and whatever it is, I’ll figure it out. I’m sick of secrets and lies. Sick of pretending everything is okay when it clearly isn’t. Something happened between him and Jeanette, something that upset her enough to end in a car accident. And I’ll figure it out.

I’m not sure how long I sit there before the door softly opens. Andrew walks out, and I take a step forward, but he closes the door behind him, preventing me from entering.

“She’s sleeping,” he whispers as if he’s afraid of waking her. Giving one final look over his shoulder at the closed door, he walks around me and crashes in one of the plastic chairs I was just sitting in. He looks like a wreck. Dark hair a mess, his face a spectrum of colors, his cheek bruised and some dried blood clinging to the corner of his mouth.

Sighing, I sit next to him, leaning my elbows against my knees.

“What did the doctor say?”

“The same thing as your old man. Bruises and scrapes should be gone soon, but it’ll take some time for her ribs and hand to heal. She’ll have to go to PT to get the full range of motion back. They gave her some pain meds that knocked her out pretty fast.”

I nod my head. Both of us knew our fair share about bruises and broken bones from playing hockey for years. It all sounded pretty standard.

“W-what…” I start, but my voice breaks from all the emotions I’ve been holding in. I have to clear my throat before even attempting to try again. “What about the baby?”

Andrew’s whole body goes rigid next to me. I don’t have to look at him to know it. It’s in his every pore.

“There is no baby.” His words are like a punch to my gut, leaving me breathless. If I weren’t already bent forward, I’m sure I’d double over from the impact.

How is there no baby? What about the test?

Andrew’s body crashes back into the chair, his head bumping against the wall, but it’s like he doesn’t feel a thing. Numb. He’s completely numb.

“W-what…?” I stutter, at a loss for words.It can’t be.“They must be wrong. The test…”

“Can be a false positive, apparently,” he says dully, his impassive face looking at something on the wall.

Fuck.There were two tests in that basket. One positive. One negative. But were they both hers? What if she… No. I shake my head.

“Fuck, man. I’m sorry,” I say, but it seems like my words don’t register at all because his face is completely blank. What must he be thinking? Feeling? I feel completely empty, and it’s not even my baby we’re talking about.

“I wanted it, you know.” His words are so soft, I can barely hear them. “I didn’t expect it. I wasn’t ready for it, but for a short while, it was real. That baby was real, and it was mine and Jeanette’s. And now it’s gone.” I stay speechless, just listening to him. There is nothing I can say that will make this whole situation any better, so I don’t even try.

“She…” Andrew rubs his face. “Jeanette’s devastated. She thinks this was her one shot at having a baby, and she somehow ruined it.”

I close my eyes, devastated. Hurt, pain, anger, and heartache that have been collecting inside me for a while grow to the point I can’t keep them inside much longer.

I jump to my feet, feeling restless and on edge. I want to scream in frustration. I want to punch something so that this pain inside of me goes away, even if just for a little while, but then I catch sight of Andrew. My friend. My teammate. My twin’s world. Slumped in his seat, his body numb, face wiped of all emotions. Except for his eyes. Those eyes hide all the pain he’s trying to hold in so he can be the man Jeanette needs him to be.

Without thinking, I pull him to his feet and into my arms.

His body is rigid, hands by his side.

“It’s nobody’s fault,” I tell him as I feel him relax. One by one, his walls start to fall. I can feel his shoulders shake. “I’m sorry man. So, so sorry.”

I repeat those words over and over again as I hold him while he cries silent tears, mourning the loss of something that never existed.

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