Page 128 of Rules

“Anette…” I turn toward her, most of the anger gone.

But not the guilt. The guilt I was feeling before only grows stronger. We never talked about what happened after that. After Jeanette was discharged from the hospital with an eating disorder, she went straight into therapy, and like always, we let it slip away. We didn’t pressure her to talk about it with us, we didn’t ask questions. Maybe if we had, we’d have found out about Dad sooner. Maybe if I hadn’t been so stuck up my own ass, I’d have known too. Maybe if I’d paid attention to her, to my family, I’d see the secrets they’ve been hiding. Secrets that Jeanette’s been carrying for way too long all on her own. Secrets that ended up ruining her.

“You’re right, Max.” Jeanette shakes her head stubbornly. “If I would have told somebody, you or Mom, maybe we wouldn’t be where we are now. Maybe if I would have said something earlier, he wouldn’t have done it again and I wouldn’t have ended up in this accident.”

“What do you mean?” I ask slowly. She couldn’t be serious, because if she is…

“Yesterday, Mom called me to bring some papers to the hospital for Dad, and I did. Only when I got here, I saw him. With a nurse. Again.” She hiccups lightly, brushing away her tears. The pit in the bottom of my stomach growing bigger and bigger. “He saw me storm out. I needed some time to regroup, time to realize what a part of me already knew—this had to stop. I had to tell you guys. So I waited for him to come home to confront him. I never intended for it to go this way. I—”

“It’s not your fault.” I grip her free hand in mine, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

“You’re right.” My back stiffens when I hear his voice. “It’s no one’s fault but mine.”

Slowly, I turn around. My hands are clenched by my sides as I hold on to my anger.

“I think you should go,” I suggest calmly. Too fucking calm.

He’s standing in the doorway in the same, rumpled clothes from last night, looking like a train wreck about to happen. He gives me a hard, disapproving look. Too late, buddy, too fucking late.

“Not before I say what I came here to say.”

“I don’t think anybody is in the mood to listen to your selfish excuses with a side dish of petty lies.”

“Maximillian!” Mom gasps.

I can see his jaw work in frustration, but he doesn’t back down. “You might not be in the mood, but I’m still your father and youwilllisten.”

He looks around the room, noting every person inside. His discomfort is clear. He fidgets, shifting his weight from one leg to the other before he settles for standing straight.

“I did a lot of selfish, unforgettable things. Things that hurt the people I should love most in my life; I won’t deny it. I was a shitty husband and a lousy father, but after you ended up in the hospital back in California, I vowed I’d do better.” He looks at Jeanette. “What you saw in the office the other day was a reflection of the past. I did not cheat once after you caught me that first time. I don’t blame you for coming to conclusions like that. That’s also my doing. I should never have asked you to keep my secret like that. Never. And I can understand that none of you believe me now, but I want us to be a family again. No secrets. No lies. A family. If and when you’re ready.”

The room grows quiet, nobody saying a word, and he stays standing like that in the doorway. I’m not sure if he has something else to say or if he’s waiting for one of us to speak. Whatever it is, he doesn’t get what he’s looking for, so with one final nod, he turns around and walks away.

Chapter Forty-Eight

BROOK

“This can’t be happening,” I murmur softly for the umpteenth time.

Running my hand through my hair, I find it in a tangled mess. Makes me wish I’d kept it in a ponytail, but my head was throbbing too much. Only now, there is real reason for a headache, and it’s not just a night of no sleep.

I got to the pharmacy last night only to realize it’s the middle of the night and the damn thing is closed. Swearing all the way back home, I lay down but couldn’t for the love of me fall asleep. My brain was too restless, trying to figure out what the hell was happening. I went over all the times I’ve been with Max, but nothing seemed to stand out. We were always safe. Always careful. Besides, I still had a few days until my period, didn’t I?

Then how? Just how did this happen?

I tried to recall what happened the day Jeanette collapsed and I so flippantly suggested she might be pregnant. I guess the joke’s on me now.

“This has to be wrong,” I mutter out loud.

Maybe if I repeat it enough, it’ll actually become truth, but the chances are not in my favor.Threepositive pregnancy tests are staring back at me from a loose counter in the bathroom.

“How?” I ask angrily, but I don’t get an answer. Frustrated, I throw all of them down with a swipe of my hand, pounding on the counter.

How the fuck did this happen? And why me? Why is it always me?

My head hangs down, my eyes shut tight as angry tears burn behind my closed lids.

What have I done to deserve this?

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