Page 136 of Rules

I gasp for air as I stumble through the door of my building and up the stairs. Tears are running down my cheeks, blurring my vision completely.

He threw me away.

Out of all the scenarios my brain has been conjuring up the last few days, never in my wildest dreams did I think Max would turn his back on me without even listening to what I had to say. But that’s exactly what he did.

Barely sparing me a glance, he left me standing on his front porch and never looked back.

Am I really that undeserving? That unlovable?

Your all, Brook… It all belongs to me.

More tears come to my eyes, but I wipe them away furiously. So much for my all.

For the last few days, I’ve been trying to come up with a solution for how to solve the mess Josephine got me into before telling Max the truth about the baby. And when I finally had it, the solution to getting Dan off my back, even if it meant leaving myself vulnerable, he doesn’t want me.

Like that’s something new. Nobody wants you. Not your mother. Not your father. Not your brother. And sure as hell not Max.

Every sentence is like a jab straight to my heart. I cover my ears, trying to dull the voice ringing in my ears, but it’s no use. Screaming silently, I pull at my hair.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I cry out, though there’s nobody to hear it.

I can’t keep putting myself out there. This madness has to stop. And there is only one way to do that…

Determined, I run the rest of the way upstairs. Digging for my key, I burst into the apartment, not even bothering to turn on the lights as I go down the hallway. I grab the key to my room, my other hand wrapping around the doorknob when the door slides open.

“What the…”

With my heart in my throat, I reach for the light and turn the switch. My heart is beating rapidly, a sense of doom opening a pit underneath me to swallow me whole. But even the dread I’m feeling doesn’t prepare me for what’s in front of me when I blink away the sudden brightness.

“No…” My trembling hand covers my mouth because the need to throw up is so strong, I don’t think I’ll be able to take one step before it doubles me over.

This can’t be happening. She wouldn’t do it… She wouldn’t…

I barely manage to grab a waste basket before I double over, emptying my stomach. The smell of puke is strong, mixing with the stale air in the room and upsetting my stomach even more than it already is.

Who am I trying to kid? Of course she would. Josephine takes and destroys everything in her way.

Once I’m sure I’ve emptied the contents of my stomach—not that there was much since I was too nervous to eat all day—I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand as I try to assess the mess that is my bedroom.

I swallow hard, the taste of puke still fresh in my mouth.

“She couldn’t have found everything,” I mutter, going straight to my hiding places. Yes,places.As in more than one. I learned my lesson pretty early in life when it came to my mother. Stealing wasn’t beneath her, and if I stashed all the money I have in one place and she managed to find it…

And we’re not talking about a mere couple of hundreds of bucks here. This money was supposed to be my way out. It was the money I was willing to give to Dan to get him off my back before cutting my ties with Josephine and giving this baby and myself a new chance at life. A new beginning. It was the money that was supposed to keep my friends,Max, safe.

And now it’s all gone.

“This can’t be happening,” I mutter those words over and over as I dig around the room.

The hidden compartment in one of the drawers in my desk? Empty. Loose floorboard underneath my bed? Empty. The hole I made in the mattress? Empty.

It’s all fucking empty.

“Ughhh…” I throw what little is left of the mattress away in a fit of rage. “She took it. All the money I had, all the years of saving. All gone.”

I turn around the room, my fingers digging into my scalp, the tears that have been falling just recently now a dried mess on my face.

Maybe she took it to pay off Dan. Maybe it wasn’t…

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