Page 158 of Rules

I’m really having a baby.

“Sure.” I nod my head. If she told me to jump out of the window, I’d probably do that too. No questions asked.

“Please lie down on the table.”

I do as she says, placing my legs in the stirrups while Doctor Perez pushes some buttons on the machine, turning it on.

“This might be a little uncomfortable,” she warns. Taking a wand, she covers it with something before it disappears underneath the gown I’m wearing.

I hiss softly at the touch, my stomach constricting. It feels weird and kind of ticklish.

She’s not even looking at me, her sole attention on the dark screen. I look at it too, a frown between my brows and an unsettling feeling in my stomach, like a thousand little butterflies are having a party inside of me. It’s weird, but not unwelcome.

Something shifts on the screen. It’s still quite dark, but not completely black, as it was before. The doctor presses some buttons, making the black and white picture larger.

“This…” Finally, she points to the screen. “This is your baby.”

Tears well in my eyes as I look at the little peanut-shaped shadow on the screen.

“And this.” She turns to look at me, a soft smile on her lips. “This is your baby’s heartbeat.”

A fastthud, thud, thudfills the room. My heart starts racing until it’s almost in time with the whooshing sound surrounding me. My hand flies up, covering my mouth. I can feel the wetness of my cheeks, but I don’t bother to wipe away the tears. They’re happy tears.

“Amazing, isn’t it?”

I nod, speechless. How is this even possible? How can something so small, so intangible make me feel so much but not enough at the same time?

“According to your measurements, I’d say you’re about nine weeks pregnant.”

I try to think back, pinpoint the time when it all happened, but really my brain is mush. The only thing I can concentrate on is the sound of my baby’s heart beating. It’s not like it even matters. Max is the only person I’ve had sex with since…

“Would you like a picture?” the doctor asks, breaking me out of my dark thoughts. I’m not going to taint this moment thinking abouthim.

Once again, I nod, my eyes still glued to the screen. She presses some buttons, and once she’s done, turns off the machine and slowly pulling out the wand.

I want to beg her to let me listen to it a bit longer, but I hold my tongue. Getting off the bed, I go to the changing room to get back into my clothes before meeting with the doctor once again.

“Okay, here are some pamphlets with all the information you might need.”

I take the papers, scanning through the content, half-listening to her speak.

All You Need to Know Before Your Baby Comes

Eating Healthy

Getting Ready for Baby

Explore Your Options Here

I gasp loudly just as her hands cover mine.

“I know this must be overwhelming, but there are options,” she tells me softly.

She doesn’t mean…

Slowly, I lift my gaze until I meet her eyes. They’re kind. Non-judgmental. But they don’t help remove the uneasy feeling growing in my stomach.

“I know this must be hard for you. Having this baby all on your own at such a young age... Look over all of this, and if you have any additional questions, you can always come here. There is no shame in admitting you can’t do this.”

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