Page 16 of Rules

At the same time, I love and hate the little spark that he sets on fire every time we face one another.

Those tantalizing, smoky-colored irises dare me. They dare me to break my rules and get out of hiding. But I can’t do that. I can’t give in because I know very well the price you have to pay when rules are broken.

They werecreatedfor that very reason.

And yet…

“Brook?” Lia waves her hands in front of my face, bringing me out of my thoughts. We were outside, waiting for the guys to get out. Lia wanted to see Derek, although they got here in separate cars since the guys had to be in the rink early to prepare for the game.

“Yeah?”

“Where did you wander off to? It seemed like we lost you for a few.”

“Just thinking.” I shrug. “What’s up?”

“You’re still not coming to the party tonight?”

Every weekend there is a huge party at Andrew Hill’s house. He’s the bigguy in Greyford. His daddy is a fancy lawyer and the future mayor of our town, of which his family owns half. Girls want to fuck him; guys want to be him.

Once upon a time, we wouldn’t be caught dead in his company. He used to bully Amelia when we were younger, but things have changed as of late.Hewas the one who came to Lia to apologize for his behavior and asked her to give Derek another chance. And since he’s Derek’s best friend and Lia’s dating Derek, it’s not like we can get rid of the guy.

“No can do. Sorry.”

Lia observes me carefully, waiting for me to explain, but as always, I don’t give her more.

Being her friend is hard enough because it requires breaking my rules. There are not many of them, but they’re the key to my sanity.

#1: Don’t form attachments.

Mysafety.

#2: Don’t let your guard down.

Myfreedom.

#3: Do NOT, under any circumstances, fall in love.

But not being her friend was never an option. She has air around her. When I’m with her, I can breathe. When I’m with her, it feels like all the fucked-up and broken pieces of me are slowly patching back together.

I’m not fooling myself. There is only so much she can heal and even then… I’ll never be whole again. The pieces can mend, but the scars will always stay. Ragged and ugly.

Damaged.

“Okay.” Lia smiles softly. “Next time.”

“Next time,” I agree softly.

Lie, it’s all a lie.

Lately, I’ve been missing out on a lot of things. Thankfully, Lia hasn’t picked up on it just yet. Between Derek, studying and all the other senior shit, she’s been busy. I hang around just enough so she doesn’t get suspicious, while slowly detaching.

Then the guys get out. Lia jumps into Derek’s arms like she hasn’t seen him fordaysinstead of mare minutes. He kisses her soundly on the lips, his bag falling off his shoulder from the impact of her body crashing into his.

Averting my gaze, so I don’t throw up from their overly enthusiastic PDA, I catch Andrew and Max getting out, some of the other players following behind them.

Jeanette sees them too and starts running, but suddenly slows down. It’s like somebody pulled the leash and made her stop. It’s weird AF.

Finally, they meet halfway, and I see her looking carefully over her brother’s body, probably searching for any kind of discomfort. Her fingers twitch with the need to touch him, yet she holds back. I’m not sure what the deal is with the two of them. They love each other; it’s clearly written all over their faces and obvious even to somebody like me who’s barely had any connection with the feeling, but they’re so uncomfortable around one another it’s almost painful to watch.

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