Page 169 of Rules

And here was I, feeling sorry for myself because my dad was a dick. A lying, cheating asshole, but in the grand scheme of things, why did it matter? My future, my life was secure, while Brook had lost it all. What little security she had, a place to stay, her friends… she’s lost it all.

“I’m so sorry, Brook.”

“You know the funny part?” A sad smile curls her lips. “I would have given it to her.”

“What?” She can’t be serious, can she? But when I see her slow nod, I realize she is. Because that’s just who Brook is.

“Josephine owed money to some pretty bad people, and they made sure I knew it, that they’d come to get it if she didn’t pay up, which, let’s be honest, was the most likely outcome. But after Jeanette’s accident, everything changed and I needed a plan. It took me a few days, but I had it. I had a plan that could give me everything I didn’t even realize I wanted.”

I swallow the knot in my throat. “What happened?”

Brook’s eyes grow distant. “She ruined it. Like she ruins everything. I came to talk to you and, well...” She shrugs.

“I’m sorry,” I force the words out. “I know it’ll never change how things turned out, but it’s true.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. You had your own problems to deal with.”

“I should have listened!”

“You did what you thought was best at the time, and I cannot blame you for that.”

“I basically closed the door in your face.” Images of the day she came to my house torment me. They’ve been going through my mind for weeks, haunting me. “If you decided never to talk to me again, I wouldn’t blame you.”

“You were upset with your dad, and your family needed you.Jeanetteneeded you.”

It pisses me off. How can she be so cool about it all? So unfazed? She should be pissed at me. Throw something at my head. Anything but be this resigned person in front of me.

“And you didn’t?” I take a step forward, bringing us toe to toe. “You needed me as much as anybody else, but the thing about you, Brook, is that you don’t expect help from people. You’re used to dealing with tough shit all on your own. But I should have been there.”

Her green eyes grow wide when I come closer, my hands cupping her cheeks.

“Max…”

I shake my head, stopping her from uttering whatever she wanted to say. “I should have been there for you, Brook. You deserve so much more than some self-centered prick, but I’m not a good man, and I can’t let you go. Iwon’tlet you go.”

Tears fill her eyes, shining like diamonds under the late afternoon sun. Brook closes her eyelids, a painful hitch making her lips tremble.

My chest squeezes, and it feels like I’m drowning.

Bowing my head down, I let it touch her forehead. “Don’t cry, Brook. Please, just don’t cry.”

I don’t think I can take her tears. I’ve seen girls cry before, but something about this proud, strong girl breaking shatters me. I close my eyes too, inhaling her sweet scent. Wildflowers and honey, just as I remember. The all too familiar scent surrounds me, as intoxicating as ever.

“You won’t say the same when you hear what I have to t-tell you,” she hiccups softly.

I shake my head stubbornly. “There is nothing you can say that will change the way I feel.”

“This will changeeverything.”

“Look at me, Brook.” My hands grip her face tighter. “Look at me.”

She blinks her eyes open, one lone tear rolling down her cheek. I swipe at it with my thumb, not letting it fall.

“I’m in love with you, Brook. My own little Firecracker.”

More tears fill her eyes, and she turns her head to the side so she doesn’t have to look at me, hurt flashing in her irises. “You’re in love…”

“With you,” I stop her promptly, forcing her eyes back to mine. I know what she wanted to say, but I won’t let her. I need her to see that I’m serious. Need her to know the truth, see it with her own eyes. “With you. Only you. You’re my all, Brook.”

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