More guys come out of the building. They’re joking and whooping. Some are greeted by their friends and family. Some stick in the group, probably discussing the game.
My eyes scan the parking lot, looking at all the people gathered in groups, and the constant feeling of loneliness that I carry as a second skin intensifies so much it feels like I’m going to suffocate.
What the hell am I doing here?
It’s clear that I don’t belong.
I never did, and I never will.
I can hear Lia’s giggles. See Max reach for his sister and pull her into a bear hug that she pretends to hate, but at the same time, she inhales just a tad deeper when she’s in his arms so she can hold on to his familiar scent. Even Andrew isn’t alone. Two girls walk with him, and he’s thrown his hands over their shoulders, pulling them closer.
What are you doing here? Don’t you get it? Nobody wants you; nobody ever will.
My gut clenches, but I ignore the nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach.
#1: Don’t form attachments.
#2: Don’t let your guard down.
#3: Do NOT fall in love.
I chant those three little lines over and over in my head. They have been my guide for so long. My lifeline. That is, while I lived by them. Now they’re a reminder. A reminder of the pain that’s lying buried inside me. The pain I’m trying to ignore, escape, while at the same time knowing it’ll catch up to me eventually.
“I’m out,” I murmur to no one in particular, and then I walk away.
Chapter Seven
MAX
“The winners are here, baby!” Derek’s loud whoop echoes through the house as the whole team enters an already packed Hill mansion. It feels like the whole student body of Greyford High is here. I’m not sure how he does it, but Andrew delivers every single time. He’s not even home, and when we get here, the party is already going on.
“Wolves! Wolves!” the crowd chants as we walk by, through the mass of people. They clap and cheer, some even come to congratulate us on our latest win. It was a tough one, but we managed to pull through.
My side still aches from the hit I took in the second period, but missing out wasn’t an option. Drew wouldn’t let me live it down if I did.
Cups full of beer are passed to us as soon as we get into the living room. Hill jumps to the coffee table and people grow quiet.
“This season is our season, and whoever gets in our way better get ready to have their asses handed to them!” Andrew lifts his cup in the air, the liquid spilling out from the sudden movement, but nobody seems to mind as the crowd roars in agreement. I too lift my cup with the rest of them before downing what’s left in it.
“Now, let’s party, assholes!”
More agreement is deafened by the music blasting to maximum volume. Without further encouragement, people start mingling around, dancing and drinking.
“Dude, that was some shot.” Drew’s hand slides over my shoulders, pulling me closer. The guy’s already buzzed and we just got here. “We’re so winning this thing.”
“That’s the plan!”
Getting to the Ice Globe Tournament, and ultimately winning it, is the goal. As the season moves on, college scouts will be watching closely those teams who get to the playoffs. Winning the tournament isn’t just about the bragging rights; it also means securing a spot at one of the division one colleges, which could possibly lead to a career in the NHL. And that is the ultimate end game.
I knew I wouldn’t get to any fancy college based on my grades, so I needed this. College hockey and eventually professional hockey were my future, and since I started playing for the Greyford Wolves, I actually believed I could reach that future. Not that my old team wasn’t good. They were, but there is something about being with these guys that makes me feel like all the pieces of the puzzle have finally fallen into place.
“Dude, why is your cup empty?” Drew shakes his head incredulously. “We can’t have that.”
Looking around, he spots whoever he’s been searching for. Whistling loudly, he grabs the guy’s attention and when he turns around, I can see it’s one of the rookies on the team.
“Grab us a refill, will ya?”
The guy scurries away like his ass is on fire, and we turn around to talk to the guys who are still in the living room.