Page 18 of Rules

Pushing all other thoughts out, I let myself have fun. We shoot the shit for a while, but then some of the guys are dragged away by either their girlfriends or potential hook-ups. I stay with Luke and James, two of my teammates. They wanted to go play pool in the man-cave-slash-game-room, but when I caught a glimpse of Derek and Lia sitting in there on the couch, I decided against it.

I accepted the fact that Lia’s with Derek now, but I still wasn’t ready to be with the happy couple more than was necessary. Being in school with them, seeing them hold hands and kiss in the hallways or in between classes was hard enough; purposely seeking them out away from school would be idiotic.

Turning around, I go to the bar and sit down. I can almost feel my ribs sigh in relief as the pressure is taken off of them.

The rookie standing behind the bar comes to me, and I ask him for a double scotch. I needed something stronger if I was going to survive tonight.

The barstool next to mine screeches as somebody takes the seat. “How are you holding up?”

I lift my gaze to meet Jeanette’s, my finger still absentmindedly circling around the edge of the crystal glass.

“I’ve been better.” I shrug, the movement causing me to wince slightly. Maybe I should have taken those pain meds the doc offered me. But in a rough contact sport like hockey, relying too much on pain meds could result in getting hooked, and I wasn’t having that, so I declined.

“You don’t look fine.” The disapproval is obvious in her tone. “That hit was brutal.”

“It’s hockey.”

I ruffle her hair playfully, chuckling at her sullen face. Jeanette swats my hand away, scowling at me.

“Stop doing shit like that!”

Jeanette has always supported my love of hockey, attending all my games and cheering me on for years, but she has never understood it. Claims it’s too violent, too dangerous. Like my bike. Or as she likes to call it, mydemonmotorcycle.

Chuckling lightly, I ruffle her hair once again. Just because I can. I like to piss her off. These days, it seems like it’s the only reaction I can get out of her. But it’s better than having to face the cold and closed-off version of her. Ever since we moved she’s been like that, and I don’t like it one bit. We were tight before. I want that back. I want my sister back.

“You’re acting like a five-year-old, Max!” Jeanette protests, her lips pouting.

I shake my head, listening to her tirade, when something over her shoulder catches my attention. It takes me a while to realize what it is because the room is dim and there are a lot of people in here, but then I see it. A flash of ginger in the darkness.

My throat closes up, the sour taste filling my mouth. I know I should look away, but it’s like she has a hold on me, and every time I see her, I can’t turn around.

Lia’s back is pressed against Derek’s front and he’s helping her move to the beat of the music, their bodies grinding together. His hands roam over her skin, his lips nibbling at the soft flesh of her neck.

“Max?” Jeanette’s confused voice breaks through the haze in my mind. She’s been talking to me, but I was flat-out ignoring her, only hearing the sound of my heartbeat echoing in my ears.

Downing what’s left in my glass, I jump to my feet.

“I have to get out of here,” I say, looking everywhere but at them.

“Max…” I hear her calling again, but I’m already walking away because if I stay here one second longer, I’m going to suffocate.

* * *

When I stormed out of the party, I didn’t have a destination in mind. I just wanted to get away. Get away from the crowd. Get away from all the noise. I needed space. I needed some time alone so I could breathe. So I got into Jeanette’s car and I drove.

I would have given anything to be able to ride my bike. Feel the motor purr to life between my thighs. Feel the cold wind bite my skin as I race down the empty, curvy roads, adrenaline buzzing through my veins. There is nothing quite like it, nothing that can match the rush I feel every time I slide on that leather seat.

Unfortunately, I was out of luck. It’s cold and rainy in Michigan, with snow just around the corner, so I had to park my bike in the garage until spring. I tried to prolong it as much as I could, but even I wasn’t that dumb to try and ride my bike on the wet, icy roads, so Jeanette’s SUV would have to do.

Rubbing my hand over my face, I sigh loudly, a white puff of air indicating that I’ve been sitting out here for way longer than I expected.

My eyes zero in on the bar across the street. It’s rundown, like the rest of the buildings in this part of the town. Even clouded in the darkness of the night you can see that the color is peeling off the walls and the windows are so dirty it’s difficult to make out what’s happening inside.

The last of the patrons left a few minutes ago with last call, but the dim light is still on inside. A shadow moves around the dark space efficiently, cleaning and closing up before she’s able to go home.

Somehow, lately, I always find my way back here.

My way back to her.

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