Page 37 of Rules

Giving up on searching, I return my full attention to Lia and Derek in time to see them exchange a worried look.

“Is something wrong?” I ask, getting on my feet.

My heart is beating rapidly as my eyes scan the dark room for my sister, concern setting in my bones.

Where the hell is she?

Jeanette didn’t like to go to parties like these, but she did because I asked her to. No matter how much she didn’t enjoy it, if I asked, she’d do it. For me.

“You promised you’d make an effort.”

The words I told her earlier tonight come back to haunt me, and I feel like a giant dick. When will I learn? The need to punch something is strong, and I have to clench my hands into fists to hold in the rage.

You’re making the same mistake you already made. Over and over again.

My breathing is labored, and the short, heavy pants feel so loud it’s hard to think.

“Max…” Soft hand wraps around my wrist, bringing me back to here and now. “Max, are you okay?”

Blinking my eyes a few times, I see Lia’s worried face close to mine. If I wasn’t so worried about Jeanette, I’d take a moment to enjoy having her so close, but not today.

“I have to find Jeanette,” I rasp.

Looking a few seconds longer at Lia, I move my gaze over her shoulder, meeting Derek’s eyes, trying to convey how important this is for me. “Where did you last see her?”

They exchange another look before Lia finally sighs, letting go of my hand. “I think she went to the bathroom.”

I nod, the big knot of worry that’s sitting heavily on my chest loosening just a little. “I’m going to check on her,” I say, and without another glance back start moving through the crowd, the same words chanting in my mind over and over again.

This isn’t freshman year. She’s all right. She has to be alright.

* * *

“Anette!” I call out, as soon as I see her dark head peeking out of the room.

Relief washes over me instantly.

She’s okay.

I’ve been looking for her for the last fifteen minutes, starting from the ground floor and working my way up, checking all the rooms along the way. I might have barged in on some things I wished I hadn’t, but until I knew where my sister was, I didn’t care what or who I interrupted.

“Max,” she whispers, a small smile playing on her lips. “I’ve been looking for you!”

“Funny, ‘cause I’ve been looking foryou.” I try to play it cool, like she didn’t just take ten years off my life by vanishing like that and bringing back memories. “Lia told me you disappeared somewhere.”

“Well, I had to use the bathroom, and since the downstairs one was crowded as hell, I went upstairs.” Anette shrugs. “I think I’m ready to go home.”

I playfully roll my eyes at her. I didn’t want her to know how worried I was. That would only make her worry about me, and that’s the last thing I needed.

“You were ready to go home since before we got here.” I fluff her hair. “I’ll grab my stuff.”

Only when I turn my back to her do I allow myself to exhale slowly, my heartbeat finally returning to its normal rhythm. But when I don’t hear her steps following behind, I look over my shoulder.

“Anette? Are you okay?”

Even in the dim light of the hallway, I can see her face is pale, gray eyes swallowed by her irises.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

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