I don’t want to go, not without her. Jeanette’s not the only one who needs to give me some answers, but I can’t be with both of them at the same time.
And no matter how much I want to talk to Brook, Jeanette needs me more. And she’ll always come first.
Chapter Thirty-Six
BROOK
What the hell am I doing?I’m asking myself this question over and over again as I type in the message. Not because I’m actually looking for an answer, but because it’ll give me a few moments to calm my nerves and figure what the fuck was on my mind when I decided to stay behind alone with Andrew of all people.
I can feel Max’s lingering stare, but I refuse to acknowledge it, only lifting my gaze once I can’t feel his eyes on me. Both Andrew and I look at their retreating backs in silence until they’re out of our view.
“Well, you screwed this up royally.” I finally break the silence, pocketing my phone before I turn to look at him.
“Who asked for your opinion?” Andrew’s eyes narrow at me, but even then I can see their piercing green color. Goosebumps rise on my skin from his intense stare, but I don’t look away. I can’t. How many times have I looked into those eyes, not knowing, not realizing who he really is? Shouldn’t we have some kind of sixth sense that will tell us we’re related somehow?
“Nobody.” I shrug nonchalantly, praying he doesn’t see how nervous I really am. “Doesn’t mean I’m not going to give one.”
“Well can you give it to somebody who might actually want it?” He frowns at me, and I’m not sure if I want to be upset or cry in relief. He doesn’t see the connection, just like I haven’t for so many years. But what if he did? I’ll be the first one to admit I don’t know Andrew Hill; I never tried to get to know him, much like everybody else. I only know what he shows to the world. But I guess there has to be something more, something deeper to him if Jeanette fell for him, and I can’t help but wonder… What if he knew we were related? Would he want to get to know me or would he push me away like everybody else?
“Nope. Look, I’m not even going to try to act like I know what’s going on between you and Jeanette…”
“What’s the point of this conversation again?”
I look at him stubbornly, irritated at the interruption. “But you better get your shit in order and stop playing games.”
“I’m not playing any games.”
“No?” I lift one brow in question. “What was that scheme with Diamond then?”
“You’re delusional.”
Andrew waves me off and starts to turn away, and before I can even think about it and try to talk myself out of it, my hand darts forward. My fingers wrap around his wrist and pull him back. “Am I really?” I challenge, observing his face.
Are you doing this for Jeanette or for yourself?a little voice asks, but I push it back.
I can see his brain working, can almost feel him think over my words and look back at what happened, and while he does that, I observe him. Is there anything else that connects us? There is this stubbornness in his jaw that I can swear I’ve seen in my own reflection more than once. What else? We both have brown hair, but it’s a slightly different shade. Nose maybe? No, I don’t think so. Maybe lips though. There is this arch to his upper lip that might match mine.
“Fuuuuuck,” he drawls, stopping my staring contest. Andrew covers his face with his hands, rubbing hard.
“Mhmm.” I step forward and pat him on the back. “You’re a dick, Andrew. And although some habits do die hard, you’ll have to do better than that. Stop playing your games and get your shit under control. Then you might have an actual shot. God help us all.”
And when the words die on my lips, I know this is it. Reluctantly, I pull away, my hand falling to my side. Pressing my lips in a tight line as not to say anything else, I turn on my heels and start walking after the Sanders twins.
Don’t turn around.I chant to myself, refusing to give in to the pull.Don’t say anything.
But I don’t have to, because Andrew is the one who calls after me.
“You think you’re so much better than me?” His words stop me in my tracks, but I don’t turn around. If I do, I’ll tell him everything, and he can’t know.
“Not really, but if you can get your shit under control, maybe there’s hope for the rest of us.”
With those parting words, I finally walk away. I thought it would be easier if he didn’t know, but I couldn’t be more wrong.
* * *
MAX
It feels like forever before Brook comes to the car. She looks in the backseat noticing Jeanette’s sleeping frame. I can see her reflection in the review mirror. She inhales one deep breath as she takes those last few steps to me.