With her.
With me.
With this whole situation.
The way she flinched away from my touch is like a slap to my face. And I deserve it, oh, do I deserve it. But I’d take the slap any day of the week over this.
Her body is tense under my touch but I can’t seem to let go, and for all her words, she doesn’t pull away.
“You know damn well what!” she grits angrily, turning to look at me.
Good.
Angry is better than sad.
When there is anger, there is hope that something can be done. The indifference is what you need to be afraid of because once it’s there, nothing can be done to salvage the situation.
“No, I don’t!” I yell. “I was supposed to forget about it, remember? You wanted to act like nothing happened when we both know damn well it did. But that’s what you do. You avoid shit, pretending it never happened.”
“Don’t you dare put this on me!” Her finger stabs me in the middle of my chest, fire burning brightly in her green eyes. “I wasn’t the one who called you by your best friend’s name. I’m not the one who’s in love with your best friend, but since I can’t have them, I’ll take whatever consolation prize I can get. That’s all on you, buddy.”
Well shit, when she puts it like that…
Another clap of thunder booms, this time closer. “You were never a consolation prize, Brook,” I say, concentrating on her face. Her ivory skin, so much lighter and more delicate than mine. And those cat-like eyes that always observe, seeing everything.
“Yeah, right. Tell that to somebody who wasn’t there. Maybe they’ll believe you.”
She tugs her hand out of my grasp, and this time I let her be. A drop of rain falls onto my cheek, and I feel it slowly run down.
“It’s true.”
Brook laughs, but there isn’t a trace of amusement in the tone. She shakes her head, a sadness I didn’t notice before evident on her face. The fire that was burning brightly in her eyes now completely extinguished.
“You can’t see your face when you look at her, but I’m not blind.”
More drops fall until it’s a real downpour, and both Brook and I are drenched in seconds.
I run my fingers through my wet hair, pulling at the ends in frustration. This girl… this stubborn, stubborn girl. “And how is that?” I yell over the rain and wind.
She looks away from me, nibbling at her lower lip. Pouty flesh pops back out and her throat bobs as she swallows.
It seems like hours before she looks at me again. I’m cold and frustrated and angry, but there is no way I’ll leave before I get some kind of answer.
Yes, I screwed up, but she’s the one who didn’t even let me explain. Didn’t let me apologize.
“Like she’s your whole world.” Brook looks at me, finally looks at me, and for the first time, I wish she hadn’t. “You look at her with the eyes of a man in love.”
I’m at a loss for words. Stunned into silence. Not because her words surprise me; they don’t. What surprises me is the hollowness in her eyes.
Resignation.
She doesn’t wait for my answer but uses this opportunity to slip inside.
And I stay in the rain, looking at the empty doorway, long after she’s gone.
Chapter Nine
BROOK