Page 65 of Need You To Choose Me

I look up at Blake, only to be greeted by a matching panicked expression as he shakes his head no, and it takes all that’s in me not to let out a sigh of relief.

“I don’t know.”

After everything that happened with Daniel last night, I couldn’t fall asleep. I was so anxious about the whole thing, and Daniel’s reaction. Would Levi be the same?

The thought of his rejection and potential resentment scared me shitless. Not for me, I could deal with that. I’ve already dealt with that, but I didn’t want my baby to be despised by his or her family if I could help it. I wanted better for Munchkin, but what if that wasn’t in the cards? What if they hate me, and by extension they hate my baby?

“How can you not know?” Levi’s brows furrow in confusion.

“Well, the baby is still too small, so the doctor can’t see it clearly.”

Levi thinks about it for a moment before nodding. “I guess that makes sense. When will you be able to see it?”

“In a few weeks. But I think I’ll wait until the baby is here. Make it a surprise.”

Levi’s eyes widen. “Really? You don’t wanna know?”

“No, I just want my baby to be healthy, that’s all. Like this little guy.” Just then, Jackson makes a sound in protest. “Oh, no, no…” I coo gently, rubbing the back of my finger against his clenched fist. His skin is impossibly soft, and he has that newborn smell to him. All I wanna do is bury my head in the crook of his neck and inhale it deeply so it can calm me. “Why are we crying now?”

“Wanna hold him?” Becky asks. “Maybe moving him would help a little.”

I glance at her. “You sure?”

“Yeah, go ahead. You have to practice anyway.”

“I guess you’re right about that. There, there, I’ve gotcha,” I softly whisper as I wrap my hands around the bundle and pull him into my arms. Becky makes a face as she shifts in the bed. “You okay?”

“Just sore, but it’ll pass.” A smile spreads over her lips as she looks at her son. “It was worth it.Hewas worth it.”

“He was.” Jackson stops fussing, and those big, dark eyes open and look at me, and my heart melts a little, tears filling my eyes. “He really is perfect.”

“Why are you crying, Miss Parker?”

“I’m just emotional, that’s all.” I sniff a little. “They’re happy tears.”

If I was this much of a mess now, I couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like when I gave birth to my baby.

From the corner of my eye, I can see Becky try to reach for the basket. Miguel sees it immediately and grabs it, handing it to her. His hand lingers on Becky’s, and I can’t help the pang of jealousy.

Not at my friends, God knows they deserved this happiness more than anybody else after everything they’ve been through. What I’m jealous of is the bond and love they share.

Because I want it.

I want to have somebody who’d love me the way Miguel loves Rebecca.

Just then, the door opens, and two older couples peek inside.

Fernandezes and Santiagos.

Both women attended our monthly book club at Reading Nook. They glance at the baby, gushing at the small boy for a moment.

“Oh, Becky, he’s beautiful…” Mrs. Fernandez says.

“Just like his momma.” Mrs. Santiago moves past me and goes to Becky, kissing her on the cheeks. “Congratulations, honey. How are you feeling? Need me to bring you something?”

“Hey, what about me?” Miguel protests.

“Oh, shush you. You had the easiest part up until now,” his mom chides.

---