Page 94 of Need You To Choose Me

I’m winded by the time I climb to the second floor, my vision turning blurry. I curl my fingers around the railing to steady myself, blinking my eyes a few times until my focus clears, and I’m facing the door to my grandmother’s room. I try to swallow the knot in my throat, but my mouth is dry.

I swear, some days, I could still see her frail body as I found it that day.

Pale and lifeless.

People used to tell me that at least she went fast and wasn’t in pain. I hated that statement with every fiber of my being. There was no solace in knowing that her death was fast. I didn’t want her to go. She was my only family, and I wanted her to live for many more years. Because I might be a grown-ass woman, but I needed my grandmother. I needed her support and love in my life.

Pushing open the door, I linger in the doorway as I watch her room.

How many times had I snuck in here when I was a little girl just after Mom left, and I was too scared Grams would be gone once I woke up? Too many to count. But Grams never complained. Not once.

Moving inside, I look around the room. I’ll have to go through all of her things carefully, but I knew most of the furniture would have to go since it’s too old.

My gaze falls on the dresser pushed against the wall. It was covered in dust, but I remember the color being worn down from years of use. Still, it looked sturdy enough. Maybe if I could repaint it, I could use it as a dresser in the nursery. I wanted Munchkin to know the woman who gave everything up so she could raise me.

A photo of Grams and me taken shortly after I moved here is sitting on the dresser. She looked so happy and proud.

“I miss you,” I whisper softly, voicing the words out loud that I’ve been holding in since she died as I watch her smiling face. “I think now more than ever. I wish you could tell me what to do. I wish you could meet my baby. You’d have loved to be a great-grandmother.”

That vise grip squeezes around my chest, making it hard to breathe.

I press my palm against my heart, rubbing at the spot.

I could see it. All the little things, all the moments, that we could have had but never will.

“Blondie?” Blake calls out, his loud footsteps echoing downstairs.

Wiping at my cheeks, I turn over my shoulder. “Upstairs. I’ll be down in a second.”

I give the room one last glance, allowing myself to mourn the woman that was my whole world for many years.

It was strange how things worked out. Just when I lost Grams, I got to meet Blake who gave me a chance for a family of my own. Our baby. Maybe it was a coincidence, but a part of me couldn’t help but wonder if Grams had her fingers in it in some way. She must have known losing her would destroy me. Andshe knew better than anybody how much I wanted somebody to call my own.

“You’d love him, I think.” I slide my tongue over my dry lips. “I wish you were here. But I think… I think we’ll be okay.”

Sucking in a long breath, I leave the room and descend the stairs where Blake is about to go up.

“There you are. I was just coming up to look for you.”

I come to a stop, a couple of steps putting me on the same level as Blake. “I was just trying to figure out where I’ll put the crib.”

A frown appears between his brows as he looks at me. He lifts his hand and cups my face, his finger skimming over my cheek. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Do you mind taking the crib up for me?”

“Of course.” His gaze shifts up the stairs before it returns to me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes.” I nod slowly. “I think I will be.”

If he finds my answer weird, he doesn’t say anything.

“Okay, I’ll take the crib up.”

“Thank you.”

Blake’s thumb skims over my jaw, my lips parting slightly. His gaze lowers, but just then, my stomach decides to growl—loudly.

“When was the last time you ate?”

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