Page 117 of Need You To Choose Me

“This is just…” I shake my head, still unable to wrap my mind around it. “Wow.”

Our baby.

Kicking.

“It’s amazing, right? I’ve been feeling Munchkin move for a while, but this one was really strong. At first, I didn’t even know if it was a kick. I was talking to Becky, complaining about the flutters in my stomach, thinking it was indigestion or something, and she told me it was the baby. Wasn’t it like that with the boys?”

My lips press in a tight line. “No.”

“Oh.”

Savannah’s smile falls, some of that previous insecurity coming back, and I immediately feel like a jackass for snapping like that.

“I’m sorry, I…” I run the fingers of my free hand through my hair, trying to come up with the right words. “I never had this before. The doctor’s appointments. The kicks. All the little moments? I’ve never had it.”

Savannah’s brows pull together in confusion. “But you have Daniel and Levi, how…”

“My ex didn’t want me there,” I admit, that old disappointment laced with a touch of resentment toward my ex-wife coming back to the surface.

But hell, we were already rehashing other parts of our past; I might as well tell her this too.

“At first, I thought that she was simply anxious about the whole thing. We were just two kids who got pregnant a few months into our relationship. God knows I was scared shitless.We talked about it, and we agreed to continue with the pregnancy, but after a while, I understood that it wasn’t anxiety. She hated being pregnant. She hated all the changes she was going through. Hated her body. I tried my best to reassure that I loved her and found her attractive, but she slowly started to pull away until she didn’t even let me touch her, and I could only respect her wishes. It actually surprised me when she was the one who suggested we try for a second baby when I knew how unhappy she was the first time around. I thought she changed her mind, but it was just more of the same. Looking back, I think it was her way of trying to save our marriage, the little good that did. So yeah, this is a first for me, too.”

Silence settles over us, my words still ringing in the air. I feel raw after telling her all of that, sharing a part of my past I never admitted to out loud. Not to anybody. But I wanted Savannah to know. I wanted her to understand just how much this meant to me.

“Blake, I…”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you feel sorry for me.”

Savannah shakes her head. “I feel sorry forherbecause she’ll never get this back.” She takes my other hand, placing it on her stomach just in time to feel another, softer kick. Those blue-sky eyes full of wonder meet mine, a gentle smile on her mouth. “It’s pretty amazing, right?”

“Sure is.” I rub my thumb over the hard swell, waiting, hoping really, to feel our baby kick again. “Thank you for letting me experience this, Savannah.”

“Anytime. I—” She sucks in a breath when another kick connects to her side. “This one was the strongest one yet. You think we have a football player on our hands?”

There it was again—we.

“You really do think it’s a boy,” I tease her.

“I do not!” She shoves me back. “Girls can play football, too.”

The motion does nothing to push me, but it makes her rock against my lap. I bite back my groan. “They sure can.”

Savannah’s expression softens, and my gaze falls to her mouth once again. She was sitting so close that I would only need to lean forward to clear the distance between us and claim it.

Claim her.

Dammit, down, boy.

“How about we get those packages off your porch?” I ask, changing the subject before I did something I shouldn’t.

Savannah blinks, her cheeks turning a deeper shade of pink. “Umm, yes, sure.” She scoots off my lap, and I have to bite back another groan. “They should go upstairs to the nursery. Or I guess what’s going to be a nursery since I have yet to touch it.”

Savannah goes for one of the packages, but I jump to my feet and gently move her out of the way. “You’re not carrying it.”

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