Page 37 of Boots & Scars

"Cooper's my skating teacher," I explained, my cheeks heating up at the admission.

"Cooper's a gigantic dick," Holly said, her tone sharp. "Probably has one, with the amount of arrogance he has too."

I felt my face flush even more at her words, my mind wandering to places it definitely shouldn't. "Does size really matter?" I whispered, unable to meet her gaze.

Holly's eyes widened, her mouth falling open in shock. "Oh, my gosh, Everly."

"What?" I asked, feeling defensive. "Look, you know I want to fall in love. You know I want to have sex. Why do you think I'm going to this party tomorrow night? Because Zach could be the one!"

"The one?" she asked, her tone doubtful. "Ev, he's the first guy who's talked to you for more than three seconds. Just because he's cute doesn't mean he's the one."

I sighed, knowing she was right. "I know," I said. "Of course, I know. That's why I'm asking about Damien."

Her expression softened, and she set her textbook aside.

"I know you don't like talking about it," I said quickly. "So, if you don't want to, I understand. I just... I guess I just want to know what it's like. Being in love. Having someone love you back."

Holly took a deep breath, her gaze distant as she began to speak.

"Honestly, I don't even know if Damien actually loved me," she admitted. "But... I loved him with every fiber of my being. And it was... the best feeling ever. Having someone like him love me? He was... possessive and protective and needy. He always wanted to be around, always wanted to touch me, but he would also keep away because he would say he didn't want to love someone that much." She shook her head. "Honestly, his family is a mess. It was only a matter of time before he took what we had and smashed it all up because he was afraid to love me."

I frowned, unable to comprehend such a thing. "How could anyone be afraid of love?" I asked.

"He didn't want to get hurt," she said. "And he didn't trust me enough not to hurt him." She pursed her lips. "It happened around the draft. I mean, I could understand wanting to be single for college, for being introduced to the NHL. And the two of us... I was a freshman, and he was a senior. So, I get it, you know? My father caught us. I don't know what happened after that. I'm positive my father threatened him, maybe even was ready to take him to the cops and claimed he raped me because of our age difference, but I begged my father not to. And Damien... who would want to deal with that? I couldn't blame him. I didn't hear from him after that."

"But you were heartbroken," I said softly, remembering how she'd been back then. "I remember that."

"Yeah," Holly said, her voice tinged with sadness. "And seeing him after so many years... it's brought that up again." Sheforced a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Sorry. I'm not sure this is what you wanted to hear."

"Do you think Cooper Sinclaire loved his fiancée?" I asked. "To do what he did?"

Holly pursed her lips. "Why do you care so much about Cooper Sinclaire?" she countered.

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Because I'm around him," I admitted. "I want to understand. He's like no one I've ever met before, and I know that's not saying much because I haven't been around many people, but... He's loud and abrasive. He's rude. He yells all the time. He's already made a student cry. But I've seen him on the ice, and it's like... he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

She sighed, her expression softening. "Honestly, yeah, I think he did," she said. "I think Matthews said something stupid and Cooper defended her, and I think it sucks that she just dumped him after because Cooper... He's hard to love."

"Why?" I asked, my brow furrowing.

"Because of what an asshole he is," Holly said bluntly. "Even Damien would say it. He kept everyone away. He treated his father like garbage, and his father played for the Tennessee Wildcats and is revered among the hockey community."

I sat up straighter, my eyes widening. "Wait," I said. "Was he on the team while my father was a trainer?"

She nodded. "I'm positive they knew each other, but Dad doesn't talk about his time there much," she said. "But anyway, to go back to the topic, you don't want someone like Cooper Sinclaire to love you."

"Why not?" I asked, my heart sinking.

"Because they love themselves more," she said. "At least, Damien did, and Cooper is like Damien but ten times worse."

I fell silent, mulling over her words. Could Cooper really be that bad? I couldn't deny the attraction I felt towards him, theway my heart raced when he was near. But if what Holly said was true...

I shook my head, pushing the thoughts away. I couldn't let myself fall for someone like that. Not when I had so much at stake, so much to prove to myself and everyone else.

"I guess you're right," I said softly.

But even as the words left my mouth, I knew it wouldn't be that easy. Cooper Sinclaire had gotten under my skin, and I wasn't sure I could shake him off that easily.

"So," she said. "Tell me about Zach. You said he's cute?"

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