Page 40 of Boots & Scars

Didn't Everly get that? She was going to get hurt if she continued to be this stupid. And honestly? A part of me was glad. I wanted her to hurt, to finally understand what it was like to suffer. Where no one could protect her anymore.

Fuck her, I thought bitterly, taking another swig of gin.

Fuck her goodness and her purity and those big, innocent eyes and that smile that stunned me every goddamn time.

Fuck her for touching my scars and making me feel...

Making me feel fucking worthy of her touch.

Because I wasn't.

I knew I wasn't.

And for her to fucking lie to me like that?

Fuck her.

I lifted the bottle to my lips again; the gin sloshing against my teeth as I gulped it down. The room was starting to spin, but I didn't care. I welcomed the dizziness, the numbness that came with it.

Someone needed to tell her.

Someone needed to tell her what a fucking idiot she was.

I stumbled into the living room, my vision blurring at the edges as I clutched the gin bottle in my hand. The phone was where I'd left it, discarded on the counter in a fit of rage. I snatched it up, my fingers fumbling as I unlocked the screen and navigated to the teaching portal.

It took me a few tries, my coordination shot to hell, but I finally found her name. Everly Hawthorne. The girl who thought she could save the fucking world, who looked at me with those wide, innocent eyes and saw something worth… touching. Dirtying her hands with.

She had no idea how wrong she was.

I hit the call button; the phone pressed to my ear as I waited for her to pick up. It rang once, twice, three times before she answered, her voice soft and hesitant.

"Hello?"

"Killer," I slurred, my words thick and heavy on my tongue. "Everly fucking Hawthorne. Little killer."

"Who is this?" She sounded confused, worried even. "Mr. Cooper? Is that you? Are you okay? What's going on?"

"I'm fan-fucking-tastic," I drawled, taking another swig from the bottle. "Just wanted to chat with my favorite student."

"Are you... are you drunk?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but I could hear the concern lacing every word.

"Maybe a little," I admitted, a harsh laugh escaping my lips. "But that's not important. What's important is that you need to listen to me, little girl. You need to hear the truth."

"The truth about what? Mr. Cooper, you're not making any sense."

"The truth about the world, sweetie." I took a deep breath, the alcohol coursing through my veins making me feel bold, reckless. "I'm not a good person. Fuck, this world isn't good. And you're a fucking moron for thinking… for thinking otherwise."

"That's not true," she argued, her voice growing stronger. "Everyone is worth saving, Mr. Cooper. Even you."

"You don't know shit," I snapped, my grip tightening on the phone. "You think you can just waltz into my life and fix everything with your sunshine and rainbows? Well, guess what, princess? The world doesn't work like that."

"Cooper, please. Let me help you. Whatever's going on, we can figure it out together."

"I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help. Haven't you heard? I'm a lost cause, sugar. The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be."

"I don't believe that. I won't believe that. You're not a lost cause, Cooper. You're just... you're just hurting right now."

I scoffed, taking another long pull from the bottle. "You have no idea what I'm going through. What I've been through. You're just an ignorant little girl who thinks she can save the world with a smile and a kind word."

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