Page 8 of Boots & Scars

I paused, chewing on my lower lip as I considered my answer. "I mean, besides a degree so I can teach?" I asked. "Honestly, I just wanted to step into the world and have more… More experiences, more people to meet... and maybe prove to myself that I could handle it. Also, I really want to fall in love and have sex."

She nearly choked on her own spit.

Just then, a librarian walked by and shushed us gently. We exchanged amused glances before diving back into our notes.

I flipped a page, the crisp sound breaking the quiet of the library.

"I can't believe you said that," Holly muttered, eyes wide.

"Well, it's true," I replied, keeping my voice low. "I've always read about it — and I want to actually feel it."

Holly pursed her lips, considering my words. "You know, it's not actually like that, right?" She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. "The real world doesn’t have Prince Charming ready to save you from every little thing. You have to save yourself."

"I think you can have both," I said, feeling a stubborn streak rise within me. The idea of romance and adventure had been a cornerstone of my reading lessons, filled with classic literature and fairy tales.

Holly gave me a long look, her expression softening slightly. "Look, as someone who's had experience in that area, can I give you some advice?"

I nodded, genuinely curious about what she would say next. Holly always seemed so worldly compared to me.

"Even the beautiful are monsters," she said slowly. "I would just protect your heart at all costs and find the one who's actually worthy of giving it to, rather than someone who fits the boxes."

"Is that what happened to you?" I asked quietly, sensing there was more behind her words than just cautionary advice.

Holly's eyes darkened for a moment before she glanced away. "Let's just say I've learned the hard way," she murmured, fingers tracing an invisible pattern on the table.

I gave Holly a long look, trying to piece together the layers she rarely revealed. Her eyes held a depth of sadness that tugged at my heart.

Holly sighed, her shoulders slumping as if she carried an invisible weight. "Damien was the first guy I ever loved," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I gave everything to him… and he didn't just break my heart, he smashed it. Didn't even feel bad about it." She looked away, her fingers tracing the wood grain of the table. "And you've seen Damien. He's quintessential good looking. I thought for sure he'd be… Well, it doesn't matter. I know better now." She shot me a look. "And you? You're innocent. You deserve the best."

I frowned, the words swirling in my mind like a storm. "Why do I get the sense that you're conflating innocent with naïve?"

"Because it's true," Holly said, her tone sharper than before. "You're Little Red Riding Hood and the guys here will eat you up like the Big Bad Wolf, hiding behind pretty-boy smiles and Daddy's wallet." Her eyes met mine, filled with genuine concern. "I just don't want to see you hurt."

I chewed my bottom lip, wrestling with the conflicting emotions inside me. Part of me wanted to argue, to prove that I wasn’t as sheltered as she thought. But another part of me longed for the experiences she warned against. The heartbreak, the joy, the raw intensity of feeling something real.

But I kept that to myself.

"I get it," I finally said, my voice softer than I intended. "But I need to make my own mistakes."

Holly's expression softened a fraction. "Just promise me you'll be careful?"

"I promise," I said.

As the minutes ticked by and our focus returned to cramming for finals, I couldn't shake Holly's advice from my thoughts.

I felt like she was being overly cautious. Just because it happened to her didn’t mean it would happen to me. I believed people were inherently good. Sure, I'd read stories and seen movies where characters betrayed each other, but that always seemed so distant, so unreal. Holly's heartbreak sounded tragic, but I couldn't shake the idea that it was an exception rather than the rule. Despite her warnings—and my mother's insistence on protecting me from the world's dangers—I held onto the belief that most people wouldn't actually take advantage of someone else's kindness.

College was a new chapter, one where I'd step out from behind the protective walls of homeschooling and into a world brimming with unknown possibilities. And perhaps somewhere out there was my own version of Prince Charming — or at least someone who could meet me halfway on this grand adventure called life.

A couple of hours seemed to melt away as we drilled each other on various topics. The clock ticked steadily towards our doom—finals.

"All right," Holly said suddenly, closing her textbook with a thud that echoed through the quiet room. "If I read another word about revolutions, my head might explode."

"Agreed," I replied with a tired smile.

"What time is it?" I asked.

Holly glanced at her phone. "Just after ten," she replied.

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