Page 43 of Boards & Betrayal

Thomas picked his head up, brushing hair out of my face with a tenderness that belied his usual demeanor. "Ally," he murmured, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. "Why'd you stop returning my calls?"

"I…" My voice trailed off as I rested my chin on his shoulder, trying to find the words that seemed to elude me. "Tom… I…"

"I don't regret what I did," he said, pulling back and looking at me with an intensity that made it hard to breathe. "I know I represented Crestwood, but fuck, Ally, after I saw him hit you, I fucking lost it."

"He's your son," I whispered, the weight of those words hanging between us like a leaden anchor.

"You think I give a fuck?" His voice was sharp, eyes blazing with protective fury. "If anyone touches you…"

"I don't want to argue about this again," I said, cutting him off before he could spiral further into anger. We had been down this road too many times.

We looked at each other in silence for a moment, the air thick with unspoken emotions. The room felt smaller; the walls closing in around us as if they could sense the tension between us.

"I just… I want to understand." His voice was tight but controlled; I could tell he was trying to rein in his emotions for my sake.

His words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of all we hadn't said. There was so much pain and confusion tangled up in our history—threads that were difficult to untangle without pulling everything apart.

My chest tightened as memories of that night flashed through my mind—Nick's fist connecting with my face, Thomas's roar of fury as he intervened. It was chaos and blood and broken glass.

"I couldn't bear it," I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "Seeing you two fight like that… It broke something inside me. I didn't want —"

"You didn't."

Thomas's expression softened, his thumb continuing its gentle caress on my lip. He didn't speak, but leaned in closer, his presence both comforting and overwhelming.

"You never talk about him."

"What do you want me to say?" Thomas demanded, his voice raw and trembling with barely contained emotion. "Huh? You want me to tell you he's my greatest failure as a father? That I'm embarrassed. I'm fucking ashamed of what I am, of what he is."

"Of course not," I said, my voice soft but firm.

"What do you want from me, Ally?" He ran his fingers through his hair, the frustration evident in every line of his body. "My bitch of an ex knew I was getting ready to fucking go, to follow my dreams and play professional hockey. And she got fucking pregnant. She took advantage of me. She fucking got me drunk and even when I tried to pull out because I never fucking wanted kids, she kept fucking going. And then I got injured a few weeks later. And then she's pregnant. What the fuck was I going to do, anyway? At the end of the day, he's my kid. I wasn't goingto leave him. I needed to try to be a dad, but I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. And look at him, Al. He's a fuck-up."

"He's a professional hockey player," I pointed out.

"You think I give a shit about that?" He ran his fingers through his hair again, more agitated this time. "He's an asshole. He's a selfish little prick who has no love for the game and no respect for anyone. He's an entitled little cunt. Janet sunk her claws into him and turned him into a selfish, arrogant asshole. I tried. I tried. But I was never enough, okay? I'd do anything for my kid. Hell, I did. I stayed with someone I didn't want to be with. But I can't keep sacrificing my life for someone who wants nothing to do with me."

His eyes softened as he looked at me, the intensity shifting into something deeper and more vulnerable.

"And not when it comes to you," he continued, his voice lowering to a near whisper. "Never when it comes to you."

I swallowed hard, trying to find the right words to break through the wall of pain and regret that surrounded him.

"So you can't run away again, got it?" Thomas's voice was firm, his eyes piercing mine. "You belong to me. You're mine. That means no one comes between us because you're above everyone else. I just... I want to trust you're going to stick around. Nick ain't going anywhere and Janet is constantly asking me for money and I fucking hate it. I fucking hate it. It's not easy, sweetheart. I'm not an easy person to love. Fuck, my own son doesn't love me."

"Thomas—"

"Don't," he interrupted, his tone brooking no argument. "Don't diminish this. I want you to see what's going to happen with your eyes wide open. You're everything to me. And now that I have you, I'm not letting you go."

I sucked in a breath, feeling the weight of his words settle over me like a heavy blanket.

"I wanted to call you so damn bad, but I got tired of you not picking up." He cupped my head tightly, keeping me in place. "The thought of you with anyone else… It drove me fucking crazy, Al. You're it for me, got it?"

I swallowed hard. "Don't say things you don't mean," I said softly.

"You calling me a liar?" His voice was rough, challenging.

"No." My hand ran across his shoulders, feeling the tension coiled within him. Thomas didn't bullshit; that much I knew. But still, there was always a possibility he'd get sick of me and leave. And I didn't know how I'd handle that.

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