Page 32 of Back in Blood

“I’m too antsy to wait for a gender reveal. I want to know now.” I glanced over at Capri, and he simply nodded.

We both looked at the doctor, and she smiled brighter. “It looks like you’re having a boy.”

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply through my nose. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to be nervous. All I wanted was to be happy. I laid back, and Dr. Boyd put the doppler on my belly. When that familiar sound of my baby’s heartbeat filled the room, the nostalgia made me smile through the tears that had formed. God couldn’t have given me another chance only to crush me again. No way was He that cruel. My baby was going to be okay. He had to be. As I listened to the sounds of his heart beating I also promised myself that I would release any shame attached to the way he was conceived.

Yes, I had just broken up with Sintonio. Yes, I had just been engaged to him and pregnant by him. Yeap, I had just lost a child. But I was pregnant again, and there was nothing about myson for me to be ashamed of. If God blessed me with a healthy, breathing child, I was going to love him loud and proud. Fuck the opinions of other people. When the appointment was over, I walked to the front desk with ultrasound pictures in hand to schedule my next appointment.

“Do you want one of the pictures?” I found myself holding my breath while I waited for him to answer. I couldn’t force Capri to be excited about this pregnancy. He had to go at his own pace. If he said no, I would try my hardest not to be offended.

“Sure. I’d like one.”

I passed one of the photos to Capri, and we walked toward the exit. He held the door open for me then walked me to my car. “Thanks for coming.” I wasn’t sure of what to say. The moment was kind of awkward.

“You don’t have to thank me. Drive safe.” Capri nodded his head at me.

I got in my car and watched him walk off. It was insanely hard being in his presence and not lusting after him, but we had to make the effort to get co-parenting down pact. I knew I hadn’t slept with anyone else, so I had no worries about what a paternity test would reveal. If sex was going to overly complicate our parenting relationship, then maybe we needed to fall back from blurring the lines. Being that I was pregnant, the frequent use of alcohol had come to an abrupt end. I was forced to face my reality each day with a clear and sober mind. It wasn’t easy, but I was making an effort, and that was all I could do.

Capri, like me, had a habit of drowning his sorrows in alcohol. I didn’t judge him but while I was on the sober side of things, I couldn’t help but to wonder if he would be able to keep control of his drinking or if it would be a problem down the line.

I was curled up on the couch in my new place watching TV when my phone rang. With a deep sigh, I stared at the screen as it lit up with Sage’s name. Reluctantly, I answered. It had been almost three weeks since I was at the lounge when I saw Capri. It had been over a week since I saw Capri at the appointment. He’d called me twice, but we didn’t speak every day. I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I was about to have a baby. Another boy.

“Hello?”

“I’m just doing a welfare check. For someone that loves my catfish, you haven’t shown your face in a minute. What’s good? You eating somebody else’s catfish?”

I laughed out loud. “No. I haven’t been eating anybody else’s catfish. I’ve been a little under the weather. I’ve also been working, and I just moved into a new place. But I promise to stop by and get some catfish soon.”

“Or, I can bring you some. I swear I’m not a stalker. I’d never pop up at your home uninvited.”

Some catfish sounded delicious, but I wasn’t sure I should go there. “Um…”

“I don’t have to stay. I’ll just drop your food off and leave. I hope I’ve proven by now that I’m not a creep.”

“Yes, you have. It’s nothing personal against you. You don’t have to go out of your way to bring me food but if you do, I’ll gladly accept it. I’ll text you my address. Let me know when you arrive because I have to let you in the building.”

“Bet. I’m wrapping things up at the lounge now. I’ll put your order in and be on my way.”

Even if I wasn’t pregnant, I knew I wouldn’t be ready to deal with Sage on a serious level, but I had to wonder how things would have turned out if I had given him the energy that I’d given to Capri. Sage seemed more together mentally, but hell, I wasn’t even all together mentally. I was trying to find balance between grieving one child while being happy about another. The shit was hard. There was even a small part of me that felt guilty for getting pregnant again so soon. But it wasn’t like I had planned it.

I alternated between Instagram and TikTok until Sage made me aware that he was at the entrance of my building. I let him in and waited for him to get up to my floor. When he rang the doorbell, I opened the door with a smile on my face.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

He handed me the bag. “Anytime. Don’t tell anybody else, but you’re my favorite customer.”

“I’m flattered. You don’t have to pass me the food and leave. You can come in for a bit.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Sage entered my condo, and I closed door behind him. “Damn this is a nice view. I rode past here a few times when they were building these joints. They’re pretty new right?”

“Yes. I’m the first person to ever live in this unit. The building was just completed like four weeks ago.”

“Nice,” he nodded as he looked around.

I led him over to my plum leather couch and sat Indian style before untying the knot in the bag. The aroma from the food wafted into my nostrils, and it smelled so damn good, I prayed I didn’t throw up. I had only thrown up twice since finding out I was pregnant. Some days, I didn’t have an appetite, but I wanted the fish bad as hell. My mouth watered at the three huge pieces of fish that were laid over a bed of fries.

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