Page 39 of Back in Blood

I had been spending most of my time in the hospital sleeping due to the strong medication that I was on. When I was awake, I was mostly fighting pain. According to my sister, I had asked for Lisa three times, and she wanted to know who Lisa was. When I told her, she was shocked, and asked me if I wanted her to call. No was on the tip of my tongue, but I wanted to see her. Bianca eventually had to get home to Jaylen. My aunt came and sat with me for a few hours, but she went home and left me alone. Lisa entered the room ten minutes after my aunt left. She walked over to the bed with tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry I made you leave when you were drunk. I knew you had been drinking. I’m so sorry.” Tears spilled over her eyelids, and I shook my head.

“I left your place and went to a bar. I had two or three more drinks. If I made it to that bar, I could have made it home. It’s not your fault. It was all my dumb ass decisions that put me here, but it could have cost someone else their life. I’m done. I’m done with drinking, and I’m damn sure done driving under the influence of anything. I’m sorry about the way I acted at your house. I’m letting the alcohol turn me into the very person that I hate. It’s time for me to check myself. I can’t use Caprice’s death as an excuse to be out here doing dumb shit.” It was a painful reality check, but I got the message loud and clear. I had to find healthier ways to cope.

Lisa sniffed and wiped her tears. “I’m glad you’re okay. I wasn’t even really mad anymore. I just told myself I wouldn’t talk to you until you were sober and making sense.”

“I can’t blame you for that. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. I’m back to sober Capri."

"Do you need anything?”

“Some water if you don’t mind getting it for me. I’m about to buzz the nurse and ask her for some pain meds. This shit is brutal,” I winced. There was literal pain from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. It felt as if I’d been run over by a truck.

Lisa got me the water, and I observed the way she was dressed. She wore a yellow sundress with a denim jacket over it. Through the opening in her jacket, I could see the smallest bump. I never would have guessed when I snatched her ass that she’d end up pregnant with my baby. We hadn’t had the paternity test yet, and I hated the fact that my doubts were dwindling more and more. I didn’t think it was Sage’s baby. If I was wrong, then I was officially losing my touch and would dub myself a horrible judge of character for the rest of my life.

I thanked Lisa for the cup of water and guzzled it down so fast I almost choked. The ice-cold water felt amazing to my scratchy dry throat. With a lick of my dry lips, I extended the small cup towards her and asked for more. While Lisa was refilling my cup, the nurse entered my room, and I was glad that I wouldn’t have to buzz her and wait for her to come.

“It’s time for me to check your vitals. How do you feel?”

“Like shit,” I groaned making the older black woman smile.

“I’m sure. You’re due for some more pain medication. You’ll feel better once I put it in your IV. It’s pretty fast acting. Hello dear,” she smiled at Lisa before getting to work.

She was quick with checking my vitals but even those few short minutes were torture. Because of my broken rib, it hurt to move in the slightest way. Hell, it hurt to breathe. My ankle was throbbing, and my shoulder felt like it had been repeatedly hit with a sledgehammer. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get anything done for myself at home. Bianca had a lot on her plate with Jaylen. I didn’t want her to feel obligated to cater to me morning, noon, and night. Lisa had a job, and she was alsopregnant. I couldn’t be selfish and expect her to cater to me. I needed to be catering to her.

The nurse told no lies because when she left the room, I asked Lisa to bring me a small pan, cup of water, and the toothbrush kit Bianca bought, so I could brush my teeth and floss. I was halfway through flossing when my eyelids became heavy. Lisa yawned, and I fought to keep my eyes open.

“You look tired. I just wanted to see you and apologize to you. Go home and get some rest.”

“I don’t want to leave you by yourself.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m on that good shit and about to be out like a light. You won’t be able to get any rest up here. Go home. I’ll call you later.”

“Okay.” I could see that she was reluctant, but I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable on my behalf.

I was out like a light before she could even get all the way out of the door.

The next day, Bianca came to see me, and I could see the bags underneath her eyes. I already knew that some days Jaylen gave my sister a run for her money. “I’m only going to be here for two more days. You don’t have to come up here every day. The nurses are here to help me out.”

“I can’t leave you up here alone.”

“Yes you can,” I chuckled. “I’m a big boy. I don’t need constant company.”

Bianca sat down. “Dad came by the house. Well first, he got my number from auntie Jane. He called and asked if he could stop by. He sounded good, so I told him yes. For some reason, I just wanted Jaylen to know that his grandfather actually exists.”

My nostrils flared. “And what about when Jaylen is constantly asking about him, and he’s nowhere to be found? Or when he comes over drunk and curses Jaylen out or tries to put his hands on him?”

“He looked good, Capri. He said he’s been sober fo”

“For thirteen months. Yeah, I know. I saw him not too long ago,” I cut her off, and Bianca frowned.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“For what? Fuck that nigga. You’re forty. You want a daddy all of a sudden?”

“I don’t need you to tell me how old I am,” Bianca snapped. “You can feel however you want to feel about him, but you can’t make that decision for other people. He was a terrible person, but he was also addicted to alcohol. He seems to have changed. The least I can do is give him the benefit of the doubt. You weren’t the most pleasant person to deal with when you were drinking either.”

I gritted my teeth together. “You gonna compare a few months to half our life? Word? I got drunk and put my hands on you? I got drunk and cursed you out and called you names? You really compared me to that muhfucka?” my blood was boiling.

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