Page 18 of Resurrect Me

“Tacy, are you all right?”

I blink my eyes open and peer around.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumble and stand to my feet. Still a little hazy, I lean against the wall. “I’m fine.”

“Doesn’t seem like it,” Mal says and hands me the juice. “Drink up.”

“It’s not my blood sugar,” I retort. “I don’t…I don’t fucking know what’s wrong with me.”

“Isn’t this the second time you’ve passed out this month?”

I nod and drink the juice down despite my protests.

“Maybe stress?” He suggests.

“Maybe,” I shrug. The sugar hits my bloodstream, and I remember my patient. “Oh my god! What happened her? What happened to Cindy?”

I burst through her room, and notice the bed is gone along with my patient. Malik stands beside me.

“They got her back. She’s in ICU,” he says and touches my shoulder. “Looks like she has a chance to pull through.”

“That’s a relief to hear. But I did nothing to help her.”

“That’s not true. Don’t be down on yourself. You hit that code button and pushed the IV meds, didn’t you?”

I search my memory. Yes, I recall hitting the code button, but I don’t remember giving her any medications.

“I guess so,” I answer. “Did they say what happened to her? Why she went into respiratory arrest?”

Malik shakes his head and fiddles with his nursing badge. “No, I think they’re running tests right now as we speak. You know. You might want to get checked out too, Tace. I’m worried about you.”

I wince. “Nah, I’m fine. It’s just stress. No big deal. It won’t happen again.”

Malik opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by a call light at the end of the hall. “Okay, but promise me if it happens a third time, you’ll see a doctor.”

“I promise,” I say and cross my heart with my finger.

My boss made me take a week off work after the last fainting incident. Said she was concerned for my health and my safety. I assured her there was nothing wrong. She rebutted with,you have plenty of leave, and you’re stressed out. So, take some time to relax, ground and center.I didn’t want to push back too hard, so I agreed. Although, I don’t know what I’ll do for a week at home with nothing to do. I’m one of those people who have to stay busy, or I’ll go nuts.

I run by the grocery store, then drive by the governor’s office building. I stop out front and gaze at the window that used to be his office. That is now where Declan Harvey sits. I pick at a dead piece of skin on my lip.

“What happened to you Sol?” I ask no one. I sit there for another minute, allowing the memories to wash over me. Like when we met and he was laid up in a hospital bed with multiple stitches on his face. He stood up to go to the bathroom and his ass peeked out of his gown, and I nearly spread my legs for him right then and there. The ass on that man. Round and muscular. The back muscles. I knew he could do some damage. So cute that he was embarrassed by it, immediately apologizing and re-fastening the gown. “They really want you to be stark-ass naked in here, don’t they?” He groaned.

And on our honeymoon, when I admitted to him, I have a daddy kink. And a BDSM kink. And that I enjoy lathering up in oil and fucking like bunny rabbits. And a whole myriad of other dirty secrets and fantasies. He fulfilled at least three of my fantasies that same night…all at once. It was then I knew he wasn’t just the love of my life, but the man who could heal me. Not just with his mind, but with his body. With his touch. With his cock. He was the key to unlocking my catharsis.

And my mind flashes to the last day we were together. The morning of the election. I remember waking up lying next to him. He smiled and jumped up and said, “this is the day Daddy becomes big Daddy.” He was always so cheesy. But he was a good man. A good husband. An amazing father. And he didn’t deserve to be thrown into the bay like a fucking piece of trash. He was a king in my eyes. Always had been.

I give Sol’s old window one last glance and say, “I miss you.”

I cry as I drive back to the house. Cammy and Ben are in school and I’m supposed to spend the day relaxing, according to my boss. How the fuck am I supposed to do that? I have a dead husband, a friend who hit on me and is acting like someone entirely different now, a stalker who won’t reveal his identity, and patients who keep dying on my watch.

I pull in the driveway and grab my mace from my glove box. I take it everywhere I go now. Aris, my stalker, claims he won’t hurt me but I did just have a burglar break in so you can never be too safe. I bring the groceries in and shut the front door when my phone buzzes. It’s Declan. I don’t even know if I want to talk to him after what he tried in his office. I don’t know what to say. Did he see my car outside the building or something?

Against my better judgment, I click accept.

“Hi, Declan.”

“Tacy. I’m so sorry about the other week. I shouldn’t have come on that strong. I don’t know what came over me.”

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