Page 146 of Hell Bound

Then I should have been here. He shouldn’t have sent me away.

That feeling of loss and not fitting in that had dogged me my whole life could have been avoided. I wouldn’t have subconsciously held myself back from everything and everyone because somewhere deep inside, I knew I didn’t belong.

My emotions battled within me, and the rational side that knew Lucifer had done the right thing for the woman he loved was losing.

Everything, my entire identity, had been wiped clean. And now, according to the Crone, it was only a fluke that any of it was even coming back.

“Why are my memories returning if they aren’t supposed to?”

She caressed the bag of bones inside her robes as she cocked her head. Pulling out a fresh handful, she continued to chomp loudly.

“Maybe your tethers here are too strong. You weren’t only the queen of this court, you’re a part of it. Your very bones are in the ground here, your blood in the lake. Your heart was also always here, since you gave it to him long ago.”

And I’d given it to him again, despite every bit of common sense saying it would spell our ruin.

“It may also be that the spell was incomplete when it was cast. The memory block was a late addition. Perhaps it didn’t set properly to truly cut those ties that bind you. The trauma you’ve suffered here is too great to be easily removed from your soul.”

She paused, stepping forward and lifting a bony hand to my face. I stiffened, a trickle of fear running down my spine.

Her intentions didn’t seem malicious, but I’d been fooled one too many times recently.

The hand came to rest on my cheek, and she simply held it there as she began muttering and fondling her bones again. She spoke a language I didn’t know, and I wanted so badly to ask her what she was saying.

There was a weight to it, a gravitas that dripped power, but I was too afraid to ask her if she was helping or harming me.

Her fingertips flinched against my face. She slowly withdrew it, and the feeling of a piercing gaze was uncanny.

Whatever she’d done, the outcome was it was heavier than either of us could have prepared for.

“I never meant to cause you the pain you’ve endured, Lilith. There was no way to know his intent, and there was no choice besides death.”

“I don’t understand, what are you talking about?” Taking my memories? Freeing my soul from Hell?

“More trouble is coming, and Asmodeus will be impossible to be rid of until you—” Her head snapped to the side as she went deathly silent. In a flash, she was back at the still-open passage in the floor. “Watch yourself, girl. Your days of usefulness to the king are running out.”

“Wait, Crone! How will I be rid of him? Tell me!”

But of course she didn’t. The hatch closed behind her, and whether through magic or amazingly precise design, there wasn’t so much as a crack in the floor where it had been.

“Please!” I slapped my hands on the stone, beating against it until my hands stung like the onset of frostbite. “Please, you have to help me!”

And then I heard what she had.

Approaching footsteps.

Multiple sets.

I stood from my kneeling position, foolishly running my hands over my filthy locks. Because clearly being presentable was the most important thing at the moment.

Crussian came into view first, followed closely by Tavila and Gilémé. The two women toted buckets with them, setting them on the floor inside the cell once Crussian had opened the barred door.

“Once she’s clean, escort her upstairs.” Crussian’s clipped command was met with a silent nod from both of them. Then he turned to me. “Allow them to wash you without complaint and you’ll be permitted to attend the grand ball this evening.”

“And if I refuse to attend becausefuck your ball, then what?”

“Then the king has ordered you to spend the remainder of the night in your garden.”

Damn. That was probably the singular worse thing than attending another stupid party for my self-important dick of a husband.

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