Page 84 of Hell Bound

Yet I’d stopped pacing. I wasn’t fiddling with the Pop-Tart wrapper anymore. Somehow, I was closer to him than I’d been a moment ago.

He reached out a hand to grab mine, but I managed to step out of reach just in time.

If he got a hold of me again, it was over. I’d lose all resistance.

What little I had.

“Lilith, listen to me.” The gruff plea snagged my gaze. “If we deny what we are to each other, he wins anyway. You’ve been mine since the moment I entered this Hell-forsaken court. Do you know how many times I’ve imagined how different things would have been if I’d refused to come on this stupid diplomatic mission?”

I shook my head. I could only imagine the immense regret that filled him, trapped here under the rule of a tyrant.

“I was supposed to be a king, Lilith. King of the Fallen Court, all I had to do was return for my coronation. But I stayed.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I stayed because the thought of not being near you, of not seeing you, was unbearable.”

My mouth opened and snapped shut again. What could I say to that?

This demon had given up an entire kingdom for me.

And I had no recollection of him before a few weeks ago. I couldn’t even appreciate the things he’d given up, because he hadn’t given them up forme.

Whatever that old version of Lilith had been, I wasn’t her, not completely. She hadn’t had my life experiences, nor I, hers.

Which meant I’d never be the woman he truly wanted. Even if every single memory she’d ever had was restored to me, I was stillmore.

“Are you listening to me, Lily? There isn’t anything he can do to us that he already hasn’t, and I swear to you, I’ll kill him before I let him hurt you like that ever again.” He reached out a hand, waiting for me to take it. “You just have to trust me.”

Trusting him wasn’t the problem. He’d given me every reason to believe that he would do anything he could to keep me safe.

I couldn’t trustmyself.

How long would I be able to hold my tongue around Asmodeus? Let him belittle me, put his hands on me, all without uttering a word?

It wasn’t only my safety that was at risk. I could take a backhand, spit out teeth, and get right back up.

The look in Lucifer’s eye said that he wouldn’t be able to sit idly by.

My temper would get him killed.

“I can’t.” The words hurt as I forced them out of my dry throat. “I’m sorry.”

His open hand clenched into a fist, then dropped to the bed beside him.

Hurt flashed in his eyes. He masked it quickly, but it was there long enough to cut me to the core.

I turned to the window, unable to handle the pain I was causing him, no matter how well he was keeping it hidden. “Please go, Lucifer, before we make it any worse for ourselves.”

He stood, the cover rustling beneath him as he moved. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to watch him walk out of my life.

Never turn your back on a predator, especially if you’re their prey.

A lesson I would do well to remember.

My back hit the bed as Lucifer slammed his fists on either side of my face.

“Enough, Lilith!” His muted shout came through gritted teeth that were already bordering on canine. “You’re not the succubus you used to be. Broken beyond true repair, beaten down by decades of Asmodeus’s cruelty.” He snagged my chin in one hand. “You. Are.Strong.”

I jerked my chin free of his hold and glared daggers at him. “You don’t know me. We’ve been around each other for, what, weeks? You have no idea who I am now!”

“Deasley told me everything about your life, how you refused to take shit from anyone. How you stood up for others who couldn’t do so for themselves. How you rebounded from things people never do.”

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