Page 84 of The Rookie

“Why would I lie, Avery? That would just be fucking weird. When I want nothing other than to be able to have the experience, to make this moment not awkward. Like it’s now becoming.”

“You’ve never gone down on anyone? I don’t believe you. You just made me—” She stops short, suddenly flustered, before waving vaguely toward the bed. “Thatwas not beginner-level cunnilingus.”

I force a weak grin, shrugging. “Beginner’s luck?”

Her mouth opens, closes, then opens again. “What?!”

I laugh softly, the sound a little strained. God, I knew this would shock her, but now that I’ve said it, I’m teetering between regret and relief.

“Why not?” Avery finally asks, her voice quieter now—more serious.

I swallow, looking down at the sheet tangled around my hips. The truth catches like a knot in my throat, hard to get out. I’m not used to saying this out loud, but if anyone deserves to hear it, it’s her.

“Because I never wanted to,” I admit finally. My eyes steady on hers. “Not until now.”

She’s quiet for a moment, absorbing that, and I force myself to look up at her. She’s sitting on her knees on the bed, bare andflushed and ridiculously pretty in the faint glow of the room, but her expression is soft. No teasing, no judgment. Just… listening.

“And you do now?” she asks gently.

I nod, my heart pounding. “Yeah. I do.”

Her lips part like she’s about to say something, but nothing comes out. She’s just staring at me, her brows slightly drawn, like she’s trying to figure me out all over again.

“I mean, it’s not that I was saving myself for marriage or something,” I go on, rubbing the back of my neck. “I just… never wanted to go there with someone unless it felt right. I never met the person I felt truly comfortable with. I didn’t want to just do it to check a box, you know?”

Avery exhales sharply, like I’ve knocked the wind out of her. “And that person you feel comfortable with…is me?”

“That person is you.”

The silence that stretches between us feels endless. I can’t look away from her, even though my heart’s hammering in my chest like it’s trying to break free. I didn’t mean to drop this on her—not tonight, not like this—but now that it’s out there, I can’t take it back.

“Fuuuck me,” Avery breathes, dragging a hand through her hair. “I wasn’t expecting that. Not in a million years.”

I let out a short laugh. “Yeah, well…surprise.”

She looks at me, biting her lip like she doesn’t know what to say. “So those two times—tonight—you just…”

I shrug again, grinning. “What can I say? Natural talent, I guess.”

She stares at me for a beat, then bursts out laughing, the sound light and breathless andso Averyit makes my chest ache.

“Fuck, Griffin,” she says, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. She let’s go of my length and crawls forward, into my arms. “You’re ridiculous. I thought you hated me. Honestly.”

I can’t help smiling back at her, even as my face still burns. This girl. She’s the only person who could make this conversation feel so easy.

It’s surreal to be talking with my long-time obsession while she’s got my dick in her hand.

“So…why’d you tell me?” she asks after a moment, her voice quieter now.

I shift on the bed, suddenly feeling exposed in more ways than one. “I don’t know. I guess I thought you should know. In case I act weird or…you know.” I clear my throat. “Or if I come in, like, three pumps.”

Avery throws her head back, laughing so hard she nearly falls over. “It’s okay if you do, you know. I’d be honored. It’d be just like you to want to ‘win the race.’”

I groan, dragging a hand over my face. “Shut up. I might be a dick sometimes but I’m not a selfish lover. As long as we’re hooking up I will always make sure you come first, Avery.”

“You said that, and it’s oh so sweet.” She sticks out her tongue. “Youloveme.”

The words slip out so easily, so carelessly, that they hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. For a second, the room goes dead silent, and I can’t breathe.

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