Page 41 of Midnight Surrounds Us

“Really?”

“Yeah. Benji’s always been enamored with the cowboy life. Micah, not so much, but like I said, he does everything Benji does. Actually, I think Micah would excel in business.”

“I can’t speak to the business stuff, but Benji might benefit from a summer on a ranch. He’d learn more than he ever dreamed about agriculture and the life. It might give him an idea about where to go next.”

“Can we talk about somethin’ else?” Aubrey asked. “This subject makes me feel like a complete failure.”

“What? Why?”

“Oh, that’s right. You don’t have kids yet.” She rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath. “When you do, you’ll understand. Everything your kids do is a reflection on you.”

She paused, maybe realizing there was an opportunity for a divide between us around the subject of me wanting kids. Fortunately, I didn’t, and I already had my argument lined up to battle hers, just in case.

“If they punch a kid on the playground in third grade,” she said, “everyone thinks there must be problems at home, eventhough that kid had bullied them since kindergarten. If they fail Mrs. Simmons’s biology class in high school, then you must be workin’ too much and can’t help guide them through their studies. People gossip and talk no matter what I do. I tried to ignore it, but then after their dad died, it just got worse.”

“I’m sorry. That had to be hard on you, all that talk.”

“The worst part was how everyone suddenly worshipped Tommy. Please don’t misunderstand me. I respected him for serving his country. A lot. I still do and for his sacrifice. I know that sounds cliché. But back here at home, Tommy wasn’t a hero at all. Sometimes, he wasn’t even kind. He wasn’t abusive. Not physically. I don’t mean to imply that he was.

“But he was dissatisfied with our life in a lot of ways. He never wanted me to work, but all he did was complain about not havin’ the finances to do the things his friends were always doin’, like expensive vacations or huntin’ trips. Things like that.

“And he was a good dad to the boys,” she went on, really saying what she was feeling now, “but he wasn’t agreatdad, you know? It was always me who took them to the movies. I helped with their homework and cooked and cleaned and basically catered to Tommy, while he played around with his truck or?—

“Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to get carried away.”

“Spitfire, you can talk all night if you want to. I love listenin’ to you no matter what you wanna talk about. Besides, I like knowin’ how things were for you. I’ve imagined your life, but it was just a daydream in my mind. Although, I’ll admit, I don’t like knowin’ you spent all that time feelin’ alone. You don’t have to censor yourself, though. Ain’t nobody here judgin’ you.”

Cautiously, she placed her hand back in mine. “Thanks. It’s nice to be listened to. But I’m changin’ the subject. It’s been such a nice night. I don’t wanna ruin the mood.”

“Impossible,” I said, squeezing her hand. “My mood could never be ruined with you sittin’ next to me.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

AUBREY

How weird wasit that I’d gone forty-seven years without Rye holding my hand, but now that he had, I never wanted him to let go?

We parked in front of Your Local Bookie and then continued our conversation while we walked slowly through town. It was a peaceful, starry spring night, but the slight chill in the air disappeared around Rye.

“So what about you?” I asked. “You want kids someday?”

“Nope.”

“What? Why not?”

Most guys I knew wanted four or five kids, boys to carry on their name and girls to dote on and protect.

“Dunno. Just never have. I guess my focus has always been on the ranch, and now, it’s shifted a bit, but it’s still ranchin’. I want marriage, or even if it’s not marriage, I want a partner. I want someone to love, to walk through this life with me. But kids, naw. I’m almost thirty-five. That window’s closin’ quickly anyway.”

“You know men can have children pretty much up until they die, right? You could be eighty and still father a whole brood of kids.”

He laughed. “Not if my woman can’t.”

Did he mean me because I was…well, we’ll call it mature.

“Your woman? You want a little lady waitin’ at home for you when you come back from a cattle drive?”

“Not at all. I want a woman to gowithme on that drive. Or if she doesn’t want that, I want her to do things that make her happy while I’m away, and when I get back, I’ll make love to her and listen to her when she tells me about all her adventures. I’ll cook her breakfast and rub her feet and make her come so many times, she won’t be able to walk straight for a week.”

---