Page 114 of Roses and Skulls

The colors swirling in his beautiful eyes fight for dominance as he contemplates what is about to go down. “My offer still stands. I’ll take this burden from you.”

I tap my fingers nervously over my knees, holding still so he can draw death upon my face. “I need this.”

He nods. “I’m proud of you, baby girl. Your grandfather would be too.”

“Proud of me for getting myself drugged and kidnapped,” I snap. His brows instantly shoot to his hairline at my outburst. “And I’m not sure how I feel about grandpa anymore.”

He sets the makeup stick down and runs his tattooed hand over the top of his head.

Then he leans forward and pushes his nose right into my face. “Proud of you for standing up and not shutting down. Proud of you for getting away. For fighting.”

I roll my lips between my teeth, keeping them pinched there. He leans back, my comment about grandpa finally registering.

“What don’t you know about Bill?”

Tears begin to pool in my eyes. “I think he’s Draven’s dad.”

My dad grips my chin in his hand. “That’s not possible.”

I pull my face away from him and walk over to the window, staring out towards the forest. “Draven was raised by Bell,” I glance over my shoulder. My father nods, information I’m sure he already knows. “Grandpa was sending lots and lots of money to her, to help with him.”

When I sit down, my dad joins me in the window seat.

“I went to Bell, and she told me she couldn’t tell me who his father was. When I asked about the money she just said grandpa was a good man.”

My dad wraps his fingers around mine. “Billie Rose, that doesn’t mean that Bill fathered him. It just means he felt the need to help out. Your grandfather was dedicated to Candice.”

Big crocodile tears begin to roll down my cheeks, smearing my makeup. “Draven’s mother was there last night. She yelled at him. Told him he had committed incest. That we were related.” I cover my mouth, desperately trying to push everything down.

Dad stares at me, blinking wildly.

“And Lanie was so mad, she pointed a gun at me, dad,” I sniffle, rubbing white and black makeup all over his t-shirt. “Then she…” I gulp down a few breaths, swallowing hard. “Then she turned it on herself, and I tried to stop her. I tried but she did it. She killed herself, dad!”

Dad continues to rock me. He doesn’t say anything, still reeling himself I’m sure from the shock of all that he’s learned.

Then a thought comes to me. I sit up straight. “I-I didn’t g-go with them. Lanie drugged me, and I woke up in a room w-with m-mom’s drawings on the w-wall. I s-swear I d-didn’t go w-with them.” I stutter, my teeth clattering together.

“Billie Rose, look at me,” he says sternly. “Not once did anyone think you went willingly. Stop, right now.”

My eyes fall closed, and I whisper quietly. “I don’t remember any of what he did to me but...” God, how do I say this? But I have to get it out before it eats me alive. “I don’t remember any of it, but I know what happened.”

“Billie Rose, I don’t even know what to say. God, I wish your mother was here.”

My hands curl into the soft material of his t-shirt. “Just tell me this isn’t going to kill me, that it will somehow make me stronger.”

“It will. It will, baby. You and your mother are the strongest women I know.”

After a minute, I risk a peek at him. His eyes are blue as the lake on a calm day. Eerily calm. He grabs my hand and takes me back to the mirror, fixing my makeup. His jaw ticks and I know that the furry building up in his muscles is going to need to go somewhere soon.

When he’s finished, he stares at me for a minute. “You look exactly like her,” he whispers. “I’m so lucky to call you both mine.” And then his eyes turn black as the midnight sky over the flats. “You go down there, and you show no fear. You have a club at your back. He has nothing.”

And then he walks out of the room, leaving me to stare at the broken girl in the mirror. I grab my gold eyeliner and highlight the lines on my face.

Stronger more beautiful, Elijah had said. What did he call it? Kintsugi. He said it worked on pottery and glass.

I wonder if it works on flesh and bone.

Chapter Thirty-Two

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