Page 84 of Sin

Apparently my subconscious decided I didn’t need a sexy dream lover so much as a sexy dream therapist. Fair enough.

“Everything is so confusing right now. I feel like I can’t breathe without doing something wrong.”

“Because of them?” He stopped us and turned me to face him. “They have you trapped.”

I wrinkled my nose as I considered the question. That was true to a point, but it was so much more complicated than that.

“I just feel so out of control of my own life. I mean, when the four horsemen show up and tell you they’re kidnapping you for your own good, you don’t exactly get a say in the matter.”

Some unnamable emotion flickered in his eyes before he closed them and took a long, slow breath.

“I don’t get a say in when I feed. I don’t get a say in who I talk to. I don’t even get a say in where I live. It’s infuriating.”

When he opened his eyes again, it was like he was staring straight into the depths of my soul. “So take back control.”

“Wh-what?” I asked, laughing a little to disguise how off-center I felt.

“Take back control. It’s your life. No one can tell you how to live. Nor should they.”

“You say that like it’s easy.”

“Itiseasy. They only have control because you let them. So take. It. Back.”

“B-but they’re keeping me safe.”

He shook his head, lips pressed into a thin line. “Are they?”

“They are the good guys.”

“Ask yourself this question, Merri. Really think about it. They kidnapped you. They’re mistreating you. Are they the heroes?”

He released my hand and stared intently into my eyes, one look conveying a truth I hadn’t even let myself fully consider.

“Or are they the villains?”

Chapter

Twenty-Five

MERRI

Agirl could get used to the amenities in this penthouse. I may not have chosen to be stuck here and would rather be free to do whatever the fuck I wanted, but at least I had a steam sauna all to myself. I sat on the bench as steam filled the room, breathing in the slightly scented damp air and letting the heat permeate to my bones. Ever since my dream with mystery hot guy, I hadn’t been able to get his words out of my head.

“Are they the villains?”

My knee-jerk response was no, of course not. Lilith would never intentionally put me in harm’s way. She’d done nothing but protect me from the day she’d taken me under her wing.

But what if she was wrong about them? What if the horsemen couldn’t actually be trusted? Were we both fools for thinking that they were capable of being protectors? I mean, the four horsemen of the apocalypse weren’t exactly harbingers of glad tidings. They were foretold to bring about the literal end of the world. That didn’t scream heroic.

I groaned and rested my head against the light gray tile. I was no closer to finding my answer now than I was twodays ago. Which meant I just had to keep on trusting Lilith. Maybe these worries were nothing more than intrusive thoughts my subconscious brought to light via one very attractive manifestation.

The hiss of another batch of steam as it pumped into the room made me flinch, but I took another deep breath and forced myself to relax into my surroundings again. I needed this. I’d avoided every opportunity to be around any of the guys since my dream, and doing so had made me a ball of tension.

Not that I was going to be able to continue doing so for much longer. Already, my hunger was rearing its needy little head. Malice’s gift had kept me sated far longer than my camming ever had, but it wasn’t a permanent solution. Sooner rather than later, I was going to need to ask one of them to lend a helping hand—or penis, as the case may be.

A wave of longing crested within me as I recalled the shattered look in Malice’s amethyst eyes as he found his release. The man had given me so much more than an orgasm to feed from. He’d let me behind walls no one had ever breached. It was satisfying in a way I couldn’t fully describe, but if ever there was proof that not all orgasms were created the same, his was certainly it.

And fuck did the greedy bitch inside me want to experience it all over again.

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