Page 37 of Devil's Game

I swallowed thickly as silence stretched between us. After our talk at the diner, I knew I had to show her more, to let her see the jagged edges of my heart, just as she’d shown me her own. I wanted to show her how much I trusted her, show her that my heart was so completely and irrevocably hers that it beat and bled for her alone.

Pulling my arm back, I put both hands on the wheel when the light changed, needing to concentrate on the road rather than her face as I laid the shards of my soul at her feet.

“Seeing your parents brought up memories of my own.” I sighed, my jaw clenching against the nerves churning in my stomach. I’d never told the whole story to anyone. Even Merrick and Kellan had only heard the shortened version.

I could feel her eyes boring a hole into the side of my head, her attention so zeroed in on me, I could barely draw in a staggered breath. But as she placed her hand on my leg, the tentative, comforting gesture chased away the anxiety that had thrummed through my veins, sending a sweeping wave of calm over me. I glanced at her, only allowing myself the shortest glimpse of her delicate features still spotted in blood before I focused back on the road.

There was no judgment in her gaze, no pity, only a kindness I was almost sure I didn’t deserve.

“I can’t really remember much from when I was younger,” I admitted. “Despite my best attempts at piecing together how it all started, the memories won’t come. I almost prefer it that way.”

I’d tried working past the mental blocks more than I’d like to admit, but in the back of my mind, I almost didn’t want to know if there had been any happiness in my life before. I preferred to see them as the monsters they were.

“I had a sister,” I whispered, a pang of pain rattling my chest at the admission. “The only good memories I have are of her, of thegames and stories we used to make up when our parents locked us away.”

“We should pull over.” Giana’s soft voice broke through the shadows clinging to the recesses of my mind as the world around us came back into focus. We were already on our way out of town, nothing but fields on either side of us, save for the old firehouse up ahead.

Fuck, I hadn’t even realized that I’d zoned out.

I pulled into the old parking lot, already knowing some of the stories behind this place. It was almost fitting that we’d end up here, that we could make some sort of memory here, too, even if it was shrouded in the demons from my past.

In some messed-up way, my heart warmed at the thought of us sharing memories of this place together.

I knew that Kellan had taken her here the other night after everything that happened at that shop, and a competitive gleam flared in my chest at the thought of us sharing something intimate here too.

I left the engine running, already knowing we might need to get out of here quickly. The Barones would be idiots if they came after us tonight, especially since they wouldn’t know those two clowns were even missing until sometime later tonight. Hell, maybe I could send one of their heads as a message—

And there I went, losing my train of thought again. Anything to prolong the memories that had been flooding my mind only moments ago.

Giana remained silent, her hand rubbing soothing circles on my thigh, assuring me she’d wait for me all night.

Sighing, I reluctantly gathered my tattered memories, needing my love to see every part of me. To see the pain and perseverance that made me into the man I was today. To trust me when I said we weren’t monsters—I’d seen my fair share, and we were nothing like them.

“Her name was Anne. She was three years older than me, and she was the brightest spot of my past, the only thing that kept me going most days.” I placed my hand on Giana’s, soaking up her warmth. “Our parents didn’t want to deal with us. I have vague memories of going to school when I was younger, but then, the only rooms I saw were the unfinished walls of the basement.”

Icy fingers danced over my skin, as though just speaking the words had me back there, shivering under the tattered remains of a blanket as I curled up on the cold cement floor.

I glanced down at my hand wrapped around Giana’s, reminding myself of where I was. I wasn’t that emaciated child anymore, gobbling up any scrap of foodtheyhad spared me. My fingers were no longer skin and bone; they were thick and strong, able to protect myself and the ones I loved.

“Anne wasn’t always with me, she was allowed upstairs for hours at a time, to clean and cook astheyneeded her to.” I wouldn’t call them my parents, couldn’t after all they’d done. They were strangers, monsters, then and now. “She’d sneak me down food every chance that she could, especially since they’d forget to feed me for days at a time.”

Giana’s hand twitched, gripping me harder, but she didn’t say a word. Somehow, she knew that I wouldn’t be able to continue, that I wouldn’t be able to hang on to my sanity if I had to dredge up the memories again.

“I was forgotten, but Anne, she was their punching bag.” I squeezed my eyes shut, begging the images of her broken and bruised, being pushed down the stairs if she stepped a toe out of line. “I did the best I could to take care of her with what I had.”

Tears pricked my eyes as my voice shook, a weight seemingly pressing down on the center of my chest. Shaking my head, I begged the images to clear, to be replaced with the blissful void of nothingness I’d let take over so many times before.

It was dangerous to think of Anne, to let the memories of her flow freely. Many times, I’d blacked out, losing all sense of the world around me when I was reminded of her. When I saw a woman or girl in the same state. I’d almost done the same when I’d seen that man approaching my sugar that first time I’d laid eyes on her. She stopped me, though, with that glint in her eyes as she reached for her taser. With the violence that sang to my own, two sides of the same coin.

I ran my thumb over her hand, grateful that the thought of this woman was enough to keep me centered, to keep my mind from fracturing.

“One day, she just didn’t come back. I waited and waited, but deep down, I knew what they’d done.”

Anger quickly replaced my sorrow as I fixated on those monsters. I couldn’t even remember their faces now, my mind blurring their details. Truthfully, if I ever saw them as more than faceless figures, I might not survive.

“I can still remember how the lights burned my eyes the first time they dragged me upstairs, expecting me to take over for the tasks they’d forced Anne to do, as though she was replaceable.”

My jaw ticked as I ground my teeth, needing to remind myself that they were dead and gone now.

---