Page 73 of Devotion

I giggle, more an overload of emotion than real amusement. “You were worried about me?”

“Of course I was worried about you.” His expression is odd. Half tenseness and half self-deprecating amusement. “I waited all day for you, and then you didn’t arrive when you were supposed to. Let’s not do that again.”

“That sounds good to me.”

He ridesin the motor with me back to the palace, and then we both make our way upstairs to our room. I’m still shaky andmessy and overwhelmed, so I take a quick shower. Gabriel is in his sleep shorts when I’m done.

I’m about to go over to my safe, cozy window nook when he stops me. “I need you in bed with me tonight,” he murmurs.

I nod, fighting another surge of emotion. I climb under the covers while he goes to the bathroom.

This is exactly what I want too.

He’s not long going to the bathroom and getting ready. When he’s done, he turns off the lights in the room and walks over to the bed.

As soon as he climbs in, he pulls me into his arms, and I huddle against him.

“How was your trip otherwise?” he asks after several minutes of us holding each other.

“It was good. My family is doing well and getting used to the new place. I had a nice visit.”

“That’s good. Are you going to be scared to go see them again next month?”

I gulp. “I… I don’t think so. But maybe…”

“Maybe what?” He sounds almost breathless, and I don’t know why.

“Maybe we can schedule the motor to pick me up from Saint Louis earlier next time so I don’t have to ride in the dark. I know motors don’t break down all the time like that, but I was nervous even before then. I’ve never been outside these walls before. It’s so big and wide and open. I was… I was really scared in the dark.”

He tilts his head down to kiss my forehead and then one of my cheekbones and then my mouth. “I’m sorry you were scared. We’ll move the time up a few hours so that you’ll be back home before dark from now on.”

“Thank you. I think I’ll be okay as long as it’s not dark.” I want to keep cuddling up against him like this, but I’m finallyfeeling more like myself. I remember that he’s been without me for almost two days. “Are you okay? Do you want me to take care of you tonight?”

He sounds genuinely confused as he repeats, “Take care of me?”

He usually knows what I mean when I say that. “I can suck you off if you want.”

“No. No, of course not.” He’s still soft, but he sounds almost insulted.

The tone upsets and bewilders me. “Why not?” My voice wobbles a little.

He pulls me back into a full-body hug, gentler this time. “I was really worried about you, baby. I’m not even sure I could get it up right now.”

I giggle again. I’ve been feeling far too much for too long. “Oh. Okay.”

“And you’ve been through a lot tonight,” he adds. “You don’t need to do anything for me right now. You need to rest. Do you think you can sleep?”

“I think so. If I can get my head to stop spinning.”

“Try.” He brushes his mouth against my hair. “You can tell me more about your trip in the morning.”

“Okay. You sleep too.”

“I will.”

I settle against him, softening my body and getting more comfortable. I slow my breathing intentionally and try to clear my mind.

Gabriel’s arms are still around me, but they’re looser and less needy now.

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