Page 17 of Devotion

I’m still hot and jittery after I’ve cleaned up and used the bathroom, but Gabriel’s break is over and he’s back to working intently. So I settle in my window nook and try to focus on my book until it’s time to go visit my family.

5

A couple of weeks ago,my friend Poppy was selected as the partner to a new administrator named Cliff. He’s one of the legal administrators—there are several of them—and initially I liked him merely because he had the good sense to choose Poppy.

But as the days pass, I’m growing less impressed by his nature and his behavior. I’ve seen him speak and interact in public meetings, and I’ve heard what Poppy has told me about him. She’s doing her best to see the good in him, but it’s quite clear to me that he’s selfish and inconsiderate and mean.

Poppy has started joining me on my walk every day, so we have a lot of time to catch up. The following morning, as we walk, she gets emotional but tries to hide it as she talks about how she needs to work on predicting Cliff’s needs better than she’s been doing.

“Gabriel always seems so calm and content,” Poppy says, sniffing a little as she holds back tears. “He never acts like he’s not pleased with you. Are you sure there’s no more advice you can give me?”

I’m upset now too. Poppy is trying so hard to do her job well, and she’s blaming herself for her failure. “I wish I could.But you’re doing everything I’ve ever done with Gabriel. In fact, you’re doing a lot more. I don’t think…”

“You don’t think what?”

I’m hesitant to even say it, but Poppy is hurting and there’s only one way to help her. We’re on our second circuit around the palace grounds, and no one else is around. But I lower my voice anyway. “Some people are never going to be happy no matter what you do.”

Poppy stops walking abruptly. Stares at me.

“I mean it. You’re doing things perfectly. You’re not the problem.Heis.”

“Do you really think so?” She still sounds upset but also oddly hopeful.

I nod. “He’s not treating you right. He doesn’t have to fawn all over you and give you gifts and act like you’re special. There’s no reason to expect any of that. But he should treat you like a person and appreciate that you’re doing your best. He’s not doing even those basic things. That’shimmessing things up. It’s not you.”

Poppy gives a little shudder and then takes my arm as she starts walking again. “It’s strange, but that makes me feel better. I’ve been secretly thinking something similar, but I was afraid to admit it because we’re not supposed to have that attitude toward our administrators.”

“I know. But you shouldn’t blame yourself for this. The problem is him. He’s not hitting you or anything, is he?”

She shakes her head. “No. Not really. Well, he’s kind of shaken me a few times. And pushed me away. And sometimes when he fucks me it hurts, but I figure that’s unavoidable. Mostly he’s just kind of mean and acts like everything I do is not good enough.” She lets out a long sigh. “I’m so jealous of you. I wish I had someone like Gabriel. He gives you everything you want while asking almost nothing from you.”

“Gabriel isn’t the norm, but neither is Cliff. Most administrators are somewhere in between. I wish you hadn’t gotten stuck with him. But let’s brainstorm a little. Maybe we can think of some strategies for dealing with him.”

We don’t come up with a brilliant master plan on the remainder of our walk, but we do agree on a few ideas that might help—including her offering him a special oil that’s ostensibly to heighten his pleasure, but the real purpose is to act as a lubricant to keep the fucking from hurting Poppy so much.

Feeling a little better, I walk upstairs with her after we’re done. We’re about to part ways when a man appears in the hallway. He’s average size with dark, greasy hair and a smarmy expression I’ve grown to strongly dislike.

Cliff.

“There you are,” he says, sounding annoyed. “Where have you been?”

“She was taking a walk with me like she always does in the mornings,” I say before Poppy can reply. “We’re allowed an hour every day to exercise.”

Intentionally I keep my voice charming and calm, but inside I want to scratch this man’s face off. Sweet little Poppy’s whole life now is about making him happy.

It feels wrong.

It just feelswrong.

“Who are you?” he asks, reaching up to hold my chin and peering at me like he’s inspecting cattle for purchase.

I gently pull myself out of his hand, resisting the urge to cringe in disgust. Gabriel is the only one allowed to touch me like that. “My name is Jess. I’m Gabriel’s partner.”

Cliff makes a face. “Oh. Yeah. I know him. You’re a hot little number. You should join us one night. You could help Poppy spice things up for me.”

It takes several seconds before I figure out what he’s saying. The wave of revulsion that follows the recognition almost makes me sick. “I would have to ask Gabriel for permission. He usually keeps me busy.”

The last sentence isn’t at all true, but it’s the only excuse I can think of at the moment.

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