Page 34 of Devotion

Gabriel’s sharp tone startles me so much I pop up into a sitting position, letting my legs drop over the edge.

He’s glaring at me sternly. “Tell me what the fuck is wrong.” When I do nothing but look at him, he adds curtly, “Right now.”

“It’s… n-nothing for you to worry about.”

“What the hell does that mean? Something is making you cry. You’ve been trying to hide it since you walked into the room. And I’m telling you in no uncertain terms that I need to know what it is.”

For some reason that’s the last straw. I burst into helpless tears.

He’s still seated at his desk, his chair turned in my direction. His expression is torn between frustration and concern as I shake and whimper and wipe at my face frantically in an attempt to regain my composure.

When I settle slightly, he asks in a moderated tone, “Has someone been mean to you? Spoken rudely to you? If they have, you need to tell me so I can address it.”

“No, no one has treated me badly. It’s not that.”

“Then tell me what it is.” His voice has taken on that quiet authority that’s impossible for me to defy.

So I reluctantly choke out, “It’s… It’s… My uncle died.”

“Oh.” He’s clearly surprised. Then his face softens visibly. “I’m sorry. You were close to him?”

“Yes. He lived with us. It was an accident at his worksite. It happened yesterday. A… a beam fell, and he couldn’t get out of the way of it.”

“That’s terrible. Do you need some extra time to spend with your family?”

“No, it’s not that. We’ll have the funeral next Saturday when everyone has time off. It’s bad enough for us to lose him. But… but he lived with us. With them. With my family. And so his credits went toward the house. Without him, they’re going to have to move.”

The reality hits me anew with a wave of deep grief and fear. I sob into my hands for a minute before I can get control of myself again.

Gabriel is subdued and thoughtful. He waits for me to lower my hands before he responds. “I see. So they’ll have to get a smaller place?”

I shake my head. I can’t speak for a minute, so I keep shaking it until I can form words again. “There’s nothing in the Capitalthey’ll be able to afford now. Rents are standardized, and they’re already at the lowest level. So either Carrie will have to start working or they’re going to have to move… move outside the wall.”

“What?” Gabriel’s eyes widen and his jaw tightens. “No! It’s too dangerous out there. They can’t possibly consider moving outside the wall.”

“I know!”

“So why can’t your sister work? I know it’s not ideal, but surely it’s better than your entire family moving.”

“She’s only thirteen. I know there are jobs she can do at that age, but they’re going to put her in a vulnerable position. She’s very pretty already. If she’s in a public-facing job, people will try to take advantage of her.”

“I see.”

“She’s always wanted to be a partner in the palace like me.”

“She does?”

“Yes. I wanted that for her. I wanted her to have as good a life as I have. But now—” I shake through more tears.

Something odd flickers on his face. Almost like surprise. But it’s gone before I can wrap my mind around it, and there are too many other things filling my mind to spend any time on it.

“Okay,” Gabriel says in a different tone. He flips over a couple of pages in his notebook and picks up his pen. “I think I understand the problem. What we need is for your family to earn more credits without Carrie having to work. Bring a chair over here so we can figure it out. I need to get some details on your family’s budget.”

I blink at him through tears. “What? Right now?”

“Of course right now. You’re upset right now, and that needs to be fixed. So come over here and start giving me numbers.”

Confused and emotional, I obediently drag a chair from the dining table over next to the desk where Gabriel is waiting expectantly with his pen poised over an empty page.

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