Page 42 of A Royal Menace

I grin. “Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.”

Twila giggles, earning a beaming smile from me, but Raven only groans, saying, “Oh, my God. That is so stupid. Did one of your students tell you that joke?”

“No, it was…” I start, then shake my head. “Never mind. I forgot your sense of humor is as black as your soul.”

She holds up her hand, extending her pointer and pinky fingers while curling the rest in the sign of the devil while sticking out her tongue. I chuckle as I pick up the plate of toasted bagels and take them to the table. Raven brings the cream cheese and mashed avocado, and Joey passes out the champagne flutes as we all take our seats.

I look at my sister as I take my first sip, and she has a faraway expression in her eyes paired with a slight frown. Stretching out a leg under the table, I nudge her knee with my bare toe.

“What’s up with you, Jo?”

“What?” she says, her gaze clearing when she meets my eyes. “Oh. Nothing.”

“Bodacious Buckaroo is at it again,” Twila chimes in, and Joey grunts and elbows her right in the boob.

Twila shouts at the pain before shoving at Joey’s shoulder. Joey teeters to the side, then straightens and mumbles an apology to Twila, who’s rubbing her boob and frowning.

“What did he do this time?” I ask when they both calm down.

“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it,” Joey says, and I nod.

Bodacious Buckaroo is my sister’s social media archenemy. There’s no other way to put it. He posted something that offended Jo last year, and she, of course, posted a heated response which set off a huge beef that shows no signs of petering out anytime soon. I don’t know all the details because Joey refuses to talk about it, but she freaking hates that guy’s guts, and every time they get into it online, she’s in a funk for days. I don’t really understand the appeal of fighting with people online, and it’s all very exhausting.

“Why do you let an internet troll get under your skin like that?” I ask.

“Yeah,” Raven chimes in. “Just block his ass and be done with it.”

We’ve had this conversation before, and it always goes the same. Joey refuses to talk about it, and never blocks his account. I think, on some level, she feels powerful in this battle of wits. She’s so shy and introverted in real life, but online, she can express herself without fear. Some might call her a keyboard warrior, but I know she’s usually respectful and kind online––except when it comes to the troll. He pushes her buttons in a way no one ever has, and battling with him can be a bit…exhilarating for Joey.

Whatever he did to put her in this mood, he’ll get his comeuppance. Of that, I have no doubt.

“Twila’s beef with Emerson on BingBang is worse than mine with Bullshit Buckaroo,” Joey says by way of a response in an attempt to take the heat off herself.

Twila’s videos on BingBang regularly go viral, and she actually makes a living with sponsorships and advertising deals. I don’t use the app a lot, so I have no idea who this Emerson person is or why he’s beefing with Twila. When I look at her, she clears her throat and grabs a bagel.

“Can you pass the avocado, please?” she asks, clearly wanting to change the subject.

I take pity on her and pass the spread with a smile. Her expression is grateful, but I wish I’d pushed her for more details about that Emerson character when Raven speaks.

“So, does this impromptu boozy brunch have anything to do with you being hot for teacher?”

“What?” Joey chirps.

She and Twila stare at me with matching wide-eyed expressions, and I roll my eyes at Raven with a sigh, saying, “Thanks a lot.”

“Anytime, Bestie. It’s best to rip the bandage off all at once, right?” she says with a smug grin before taking a big bite of her bagel.

“What is she talking about?” Joey asks. “Who is this teacher you’re hot for, and why don’t I know about him?”

“Cool your tits, Josette,” Raven says after swallowing her food. “She’s trying to tell you, now.”

“Oh, my God,” Twila chimes in before I can say a word. “Is it Royal? It’s him, isn’t it?”

I feel my cheeks heat, as Raven says, “And I only guessed because she got jealous when some Barbie was all overMr. Manningat the convention.”

“I told you that was food poisoning,” I say, but there’s no heat in the obvious lie.

“Okay, okay. Start from the beginning, please,” Joey says.

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