Page 58 of A Royal Menace

Raven:Jesus, Jo, it’s Mr. Manning. We talked about this at brunch. How many mimosas did you have?

Twila:Callie hasn’t confirmed it yet, ladies.

Joey:Callie?

Me:Consider it confirmed.

Raven:Yassss, bitch. How was it?

Twila:OMG!!!!!!

Joey:Seriously? Tell us everything. Right. Now.

Me:Some of the other teachers invited us out for happy hour on Friday. We ended up talking the whole time, and I invited him back to my place. It was a little awkward, at first, with both of us questioning what the other really wanted, then I kissed him. And then we spent pretty much the whole weekend in my bed.

Raven:Holy shit. All weekend? What was the O count?

Joey:Raven, don’t ask her that.

Me:8

Raven:HOLY SHIT. You little sex kitten!

Twila:Daa-yum.

Me:It was amazing, but then yesterday, things got weird.

Raven:I will murder him if he blew you off. Chop his dick into tiny little pieces.

Me:It wasn’t like that. The opposite, actually. I told him we needed to keep this thing a secret at work, and he was being a bit too flirty. Then he emailed me through our work email, and I freaked out like a paranoid maniac. He suggested we exchange phone numbers so we can text, and after I gave himmy number, he got all weird and said we should DM through Cackle, instead.

Twila:That is weird.

Joey:So HE suggested you exchange numbers, then refused to give you his?

Me:Yep.

Raven:Cock fricassee.

Me:Stop it, R. No one is chopping up and frying his cock. I happen to like it. A lot. Besides, he invited me over last night for dinner, made me his dessert––if you know what I mean––and I stayed the night. It was all great.

Joey:Just ask him about it, Callie.

Twila:I agree with Joey. You’re both adults, and communication is important if this thing between you is going anywhere.

They’re right. I know they are. I just don’t know why it’s so hard.

Me:Thanks, guys. I’ll talk to him. I promise. And this leads me to my next problem.

Raven:Whose appendage do I need to mutilate now?

Joey:Jesus, Raven. What crawled up your ass and died? Or should I ask, who?

Raven:I don’t know what you mean.

Joey:Mm-hmm.

Raven:This isn’t about me. Callie, please proceed.

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