Page 65 of Not the Puck Bunny

“What might I regret?” I said, my tone icy. “Moving on with my life? Discovering that you and I were over a long, long time ago? My only regret was not ending it before you did.”

He clicked his tongue. “Don't be ridiculous, Andi. If you need a little more time, I can give you another week or two. But you have to understandthat if anyone sees you with someone else again, it will reflect badly on me.”

I stared at him. I shouldn't even be slightly surprised that the only thing he gave a shit about was his reputation.

“What Cam and I do is none of your business,” I said. “You made that abundantly clear when you packed up and left.”

“People are talking, Andi,” he said warningly. “People I work with are talking about me behind their hands. They knew we were together and planned to have a life with each other, and now you're off doing fuck knows what with some…hockey player. Do you have any idea how that looks? It's impacting my next promotion. The partners are concerned my girlfriend might cause a scandal.”

“Good thing I'm not your girlfriend then,” I snapped. “Did you bother to inform them of that? Or did you assure them you'd come here and I'd fall in line? Be the dutiful wife like my mother is? Sit around and knit, and wait for you to come home at the end of a long day so I can place a hot meal in front of you?”

“Why not?” He lifted his rounded chin. “You could work for a while if you want to. I know how much you like being busy. When the babies come?—"

I gaped at him. “Xander, there will be no babies. Not between you and me.”

Had he lost his ever loving mind? He must have if he thought we had a future together.

“The best thing you ever did was leave. The moment you stepped out the door, you ended it. It hurt for a little while, but I got over it. I realized it was for the best. For me. For you too, I guess. Now you can find someone who fits in with your nineteen fifties housewife ideal. That sure as hell isn't me.”

I'd lose my shit in the first day or two.

“It was never meant to be an end, Andi,” he insisted. “Like I said, it was a break. I'm not sure what's gotten into you. It must be this place. That hockey player has some kind of influence over you, doesn't he? He has you convinced that the future we planned isn't what you want.”

He shook his head slowly. “I know you better than that.You'rebetter than that.” He closed his eyes for a minute and shook his head, like he was trying to get through to a three-year-old.

“You know people like that don't stick around with one woman for long. The first pretty face that crosses their path and they're off, chasing them like a dog in heat.” He opened his eyes. “Don't say you don't know that's true. We both know it is.”

From what I'd seen, for some of the players, it was, but not for all of them. Not for Cam. He wasn't out to chase pussy.

I shook my head. “You're wrong. That's just a stereotype. Lots of the guys on the team are happily married with children. Committed. They wouldn't look sideways at another woman.”

“They may not, but what about Cameron North?” Xander sneered. “That's his name, isn't it? He seems to keep some dubious company. How many additional endorsements has he received since that incident on the rollercoaster? I'd imagine several, all very lucrative.”

My eyes twitched towards my computer. Several of those emails were regarding endorsement deals for Cam. A couple of them were worth millions. A few of those and he could comfortably retire. But he would have gotten those anyway, wouldn't he? Not because of any relationship with me.

“I see I'm right.” Xander looked smug. “He's doing nothing but using you, and preying on how vulnerable you are right now. I must take some of the blame for that. I should have come to you before he tried anything with you. But I'm here now and we can deal with him. You can file a sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He'll haveto…"

He continued talking, but I barely heard him over the blood that roared through my ears.

Was it possible Cam was using me to benefit his own career? I didn't want to consider it, but those endorsement deals told me I had to. The timing was too convenient.

I thought back to how he found me sitting on the bench by the beach. He'd insisted we go to the pier. What if none of that was spontaneous?

What if he knew where to find me and where to take me so we could be seen together? He could have planted the person that took those photos. Hell, he could have recruited his sister to help him. She could have influenced the camera operator to film me eating that hotdog. To generate more publicity around us.

Would he have deliberately humiliated me like that? He couldn't have known I might choke but he might have invited the scrutiny, and the rumors that surfaced after that.

I sat back on the edge of my desk and rubbed my temples. Too many thoughts were thundering around in my brain. Too many insecurities and questions.

I'd wanted so badly to believe him when he told me he was falling in love with me. Was that anotherpart of the plan? Pretty words to suck me in deeper?

I reminded myself that he didn't fuck me when he could have, but the ugliest of my insecurities suggested that was because he didn't want to. Pretending to care about me was one thing, but subjecting his body to mine was another.

“What was with the bear?” The words popped out before I could even think them.

Xander stopped mid-sentence and looked confused.

I repeated the question and nodded toward the teddy bear that sat on the couch watching us, probably judging me. Why wouldn't he? I was certainly judging myself.

---