Page 15 of Ashes to Ashes

“I do. Here and there.” She leaned close and whispered in my ear. “He had his blazer off this morning and his sleeves rolled up and he’s covered in them. The ink goes all the way down to his wrists. On botharms.”

“So?” I asked, again failing to see the problem.

Personally, I loved tattoos on a man. As a storyteller, I thought there was no more permanent way to mark a point in one’s life than to put ink to skin. Experience told me that while a lot of people had tattoos that meant nothing, people like Gage—the ones who covered themselves in ink—did so because each piece of art marked a pivotal point in their lives.

I, too, had tattoos emblazoned on my skin to tell my story. When my first album had gone platinum, I’d had a tiny smattering of stars inked onto the back of my bicep, and when Ford and I got married, I’d added the latitude and longitude of our wedding location to the nape of my neck, just below the hairline. Over the years I’d added three additional tattoos to mark specific moments on the timeline of my life, but the largest tattoo I wore—the most important one—was a fairly recent addition. When I’d been sober for six months, I’d had a pair of wings inked across my ribcage, just under my breasts. I might have had a difficult time standing on my own these past few years, but now I knew I couldfly.

My mind flashed to that night with Ash as I tried to remember if he’d had any ink, but my memory was hazy. Briefly, I wondered what he’d think of my latest acquisition. Not that I had any intention of getting naked with him again, but I was a red-blooded female and Charlotte was right. We’d already gone there once. My memories of that night resemble looking through a gossamer haze, but I still woke up sometimes dreaming of a man moving over me, his long, hard long cock filling me, my body shivering in anticipation. And every damn time, the man in my dreams wasAsh.

“Hello?” Charlotte tapped on my forehead. “Where’d you go, Rae?”

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. Peeking out from between my fingers, I admitted, “I don’t know if I can dothis.”

“Dowhat?”

“Next to getting sober, this forced exile with Ash just might be the hardest damn thing I’ve everdone.”

She chuckled. “I still think you should bonehim.”

“We’ve been over this,” I remindedher.

“You’re not giving yourself enough credit, Rae,” she said, her voice turning serious. “You’re so strong right now. Stronger than I’ve ever seen you, and I’ve known you practically your entire adult life. I would never want to undermine your recovery, but I think you should seriously consider it. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Um, I could become addicted to him,” I answered matter-of-factly. “You know how I am with men,” I continued, leading her by the hand to the couch. I knew she and Gage were supposed to have left already, but as far as I was concerned, this was all on my dime so if I needed to speak with my best friend before I didn’t see her for who-knew-how-long, then I was damn well going to have that conversation.

Almost as if he could read my mind, Gage cleared his throat, drawing our attention. Bending down, he picked up Charlotte’s bags and hefted them over his brawny shoulders. “I’ll be outside when you’re ready Miss Jones,” he said, pressing the code into the keypad and exiting almost as silently as he’d entered.

Charlotte’s eyes twinkled as she watched him go, and when she caught me staring, her face sobered. “What?” she asked guiltily.

I shoved against her shoulder playfully. “You claim you’re terrified of him, but you definitely want thatdick.”

Unconsciously, she licked her lips and her eyes turned foggy. Letting out a long exhale that fluttered her wispy bangs, she finally admitted it. “Yeah. I really, reallydo.”

“So, quit worrying about my vagina and focus on your own for a minute.”

“Gage can’t stand me, but I saw Ash’s reaction when he walked into that conference room. Not to mention how he looks at you when he thinks no one’s watching. He wants to rip your clothes off. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to already.”

For a quick second, I felt a small burst of guilt. I hadn’t told her about when he’d wrapped his hands around my waist the night before, or how it had made me feel. I hadn’t told her what I’d seen in the heat of hisgaze.

“One,” I said instead, “Gage does not hate you. Exasperated by you, yes, but I’m sure he’d be happy to put you over his knee and teach you a lesson—” she shuddered in anticipation “—and two, you’re wrong. Ash was surprised when he saw me because I never told him my name. Imagine for a second you slept with … who’s like the hottest rock star you can thinkof?”

“Of all time or now?” Charlotte asked, quickly getting into the game we regularly played while on the road. It was our version of Fuck, Marry, Kill.

“Either,” I answered.

She pretended to think about it for a second, but I already knew who she’d say. For some inexplicable reason, she’d been lusting after Tom Jones since she was a teenager. I often teased her that not only was she into wrinkled old ball sacks, but with the same last name and her heritage, they were probably distantly related. She hated it when I joked about cousin fucking.

So, imagine my surprise when she answered, “Colt Avery.”

“Wait, what? Is Tom no longer the disgusting apple of youreye?”

As if she was pained by her admission—as if she was somehow cheating on Tom by naming another man she’d imaginarily screw—she replied, “He’s getting a little long in the tooth, to be honest. And he sweats an awfullot.”

“Thank Christ!” I hooted, thrilled that her weird fixation on the Welshman had finally come to an end. I could get on board with just about every sexual fantasy there was, but that was one I did not understand. And for the sake of my friend, I’d tried. Really, really, tried. There was just no understanding some people’s kinks, I supposed.

“Okay,” I continued. “So, say you slept with Colt Avery, but you didn’t know it was him because you apparently lived under a rock. And then you were hired on as an unknown musician’s personal assistant and when you walked in the room, holy fucking Christ, it’s Colt Avery standing there! That’s what Ash’s reactionwas.”

“I still can’t believe he had no idea who youwere.”

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