Page 16 of Ashes to Ashes

“Yeah,” I said, shaking my head. “Like I said though, under a rock. He swears he didn’t have a TV, and he was pretty much living out of his duffel bag when our paths crossed. He was on his way to a job and it was just a coincidence we were at the same bar at the same time. Neither one of us ever expected to see the other again. I’d hoped I’d never run into any of them.” I shuddered in disgust.

“But you have run into him again! That has to mean something.”

I sometimes forgot that underneath all her cynicism and sarcasm, Charlotte was a romantic at heart. How being by my side these past couple of years hadn’t beaten that out of her, I’d never know. Lord knew I no longer believed in fairytale endings. The best I could hope for, I knew, was building a life with someone who wouldn’t hold my past against me, someone who wasn’t repulsed by who I was or what I’d done. And that meant I was probably going to have to do the same, because the only people who could live with that kind of forgiveness were the ones who’d lived equally unsavory lives. Mutually assured acceptance was what I’d someday strive for. But not yet. I wasn’t ready to take on someone else’s baggage, along with my own. I was strong now, but not thatstrong.

I slapped my palms onto my thighs and stood. “We can talk about this later. We have plenty of time to analyze the shit out of the way we react to these men and vice versa.”

Charlotte stood too, and enveloped me in another hug. “I’ll miss you, Rae.” She smacked a kiss to my cheek.

“I know, Char. I’ll miss you too.” I squeezed her one last time and then moved away. “Now go find that tattooed beast and bend him to yourwill.”

She shook her head, but a sly smirk played at her full, red lips. “I’m still afraid he’s more man than I can handle.”

“Ha!” I exclaimed. “There ain’t no man alive you can’t tame, and that includes JulianGage.”

“From your mouth to god’s ears,” she called over her shoulder before punching in the code and leaving me to finish packing.

---