Page 28 of Ashes to Ashes

“What does that even mean?” I choked out as I lifted my hips so he could pet me in long, even strokes.

“It means that when we’re together like this, I’m in charge,” he answered, his voice steady, his strokes sure. “That you do what I say, when I say.” His finger slipped inside, and then out again, as he laid out exactly what he meant. “I want to own your pleasure. I want to own your body. When you’re naked, I want you to give everything over to me. Your pain, your pleasure, your responsibility, your fear. I want itall.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I replied in halting breaths, my resolve weakening.

The truth was, in the heat of the moment, what he described sounded appealing. I’d never say it aloud, but I was growing weary of having to be in control all the damn time, of having to think about every damn thing every single second of the day. If I did what he asked, I could let go of all that. When we were together, I could focus on my own pleasure.

In order to take, all I had to do wasgive.

A second finger joined the first and he pumped in and out of me in slow, restrained caresses. “Stop fighting it, Rae. Give your pleasure over to me.” His other hand skated over the black lines of my tattoo. “Let me make you soar, baby,” he whispered, his words melodic. “I promise, I’ll be good to you. When it’s you and me, here like this, I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted but didn’t know to ask for.” His thumb found my clit and he rubbed circles around it while his other fingers continued their questing advance and retreat. “All you have to do is letgo.”

Echoing my lyrics, he continued, “You’ve found it Rae … what you didn’t even know you were looking for.” His fingers picked up their pace, and the wet sounds of my pleasure echoed in the charged silence. “All you have to do is give yourself tome.”

My mind recoiled from his words even as my body embraced them. Shaking my head, I tried to fight off the prickling awareness that always preceded my orgasms.

“That’s it, Rae,” Ash encouraged. “Just like that,” he said, his fingers plundering me in earnest. He’d ceased being slow and gentle; now he worked me over with hard, forceful thrusts. “Give it to me. Now. Fucking come on my fingers, rightnow.”

And with that harshly ordered demand, everything inside of me contracted and then expanded beyond the confines of my self-control. I broke apart—exploded—into a cataclysmic orgasm that destroyed me and then just as quickly put me back together again. When I reformed, I was a new me—a me who’d decided to quit fighting what Ash already knew. I needed this. I needed him to dominate and control me. At least where sex was concerned, I needed to submit to hiswill.

“Yes, please,” I whispered when I could find my voice again. “All of it. Everything. It’s yours. I’m yours.”

“Oh baby,” he sighed, his voice reverential as he scooped me against him and held me tight. Kissing my temple, he declared, “I promise I won’t ever hurtyou.”

“You can’t promise that,” I said, my euphoria ebbing.

Hefting my body into his arms and standing as if I weighed nothing, Ash stepped around the scattered papers and marched down the hall. “I can,” he answered. “And I do. I promise you here and now, the only pain you’ll ever experience because of me is the pain you askfor.”

Weakly, exhaustion pushing against the corners of my consciousness, I said, “I’m willing to let you be in charge, but I’m not sure I’ll ever want the type of things you need, Ash.”

I was nearly asleep when he whispered, “You will. And you’ll love it. Trustme.”

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