Page 42 of Ashes to Ashes

My brain short circuited and faltered, but my body obeyed. As if on auto-pilot, I kneeled in front of him, my eyes transfixed on his hands as they worked his buttonfree.

“What’s your safe word?” he asked, his voice tumbled gravel. When I didn’t immediately answer, he nudged my chin up. “What’s the word, Rae?”

I chewed on my lip. Hazy with lust, all I could think about was the next second and then the next—imagining his fingers sliding that zipper down and then my lips wrapping around his cock and swallowing himdown.

“This ends right now if you don’t answer.”

That whispered command snapped me out of my stupor. No way was I giving up an opportunity to worship him with my mouth. “Pumpkin,” I confirmed.

“Good girl,” he praised. “Now, hands behind yourback.”

I sat back on my calves and gripped my hands behind my back as he’d ordered, my fingers twined to keep from reaching out and touching him. I could tell from his voice he wasn’t going to take things nice and slow. There’d be no lingering over each other’s bodies this time, savoring every rise and curve, every taste and moan. This was going to be fast and dirty … and I didn’t mind one fuckingbit.

While initially I’d bristled at Ash’s dominant nature, I’d grown to appreciate it. When he took control of my pleasure, I didn’t have to think, didn’t have to worry. He helped me forget about my asshole ex-husband, the demands of my label, the expectations of my fans, and all the responsibilities I carried with me each and every day. When he was in charge, all I had to do was let go and reap the rewards of my obedience.

I didn’t know how I’d ever go back to how things had been before. All I knew was I didn’t want to. But I also recognized this was all just temporary—once my stalker was apprehended, there’d be no reason for us to continue on as we were. We’d part ways, and I’d be left with nothing but my memories of our time together. That, and a desire to be dominated and controlled in the bedroom.

“You’re thinking too hard. I can see it on yourface.”

I dragged my eyes up the length of his torso. “I was thinking about this,” I admitted. “About how much I enjoy you bossing me around.”

He stroked my face and I leaned into his touch, his fingers surprisingly soft. “I promised you pleasure, didn’tI?”

I nodded. “Youdid.”

He slid his hand along my scalp, his fingers coaxing their way through my long, dark strands. “You have such beautiful hair,” he marveled just before he wrapped it around his fist and yanked my head back, stretching my neck taut. “I promised if you gave yourself to me—gave me everything—I’d make it worth your while. And I never break my promises. You should know that aboutme.”

I did know that about him. There was only one problem: it was one of the few things I knew about Ash. All this time together, and we were still practically strangers. Sometimes it felt like I knew Rocky’s secretary better than I knew the man I shared my bedwith.

“I want to know more,” I blurted.

Shit. I knew not to push him; every time I did, he shut down and shut meout.

The problem was, when Ash had me down on my knees, turned on and incoherent with lust, I wasn’t thinking straight. He had the power to make me forget myself, forget the way this was supposed to work. Against my better judgement, he turned me into the type of woman who needed a man—needed him—and who wasn’t afraid to share that vulnerability. He made me forget my walls—those carefully erected barriers I put between myself and others, the defenses I’d constructed to keep people from getting too close, from knowing me. The realme.

That thought stung, and made me focus on something other than my lust. I didn’t know if I was comfortable with him seeing not just Country Princess Rae Griffin, but also little Norma Rae Griffin who’d come from the wrong side of the tracks. Who easily wore the mantle of alcoholism because it was in her blood. I'd already bared every part of my body to Ash; I didn’t know if I was ready to bare my soul aswell.

"Right now, all you need to know is the taste of my cock on your lips and that I'm going to make you come until you can’t stand."

And yet, for all the heavy worries I carried inside, my pulse spiked and my breath hitched when he dragged his zipper down and his dick sprang free, hard and ready.

"Open your mouth, Rae," he commanded. When I complied, he growled with approval. "I love it when you obey me so willingly.” He took his cock in hand and traced the velvet head over my bottom lip, teasing me with it. My tongue darted out to lick the salty drop of pre-cum on thetip.

Delicious.

"Suck me," he said, pushing past my lips until I felt his thick, pulsing head hit the back of my throat. "I'm going to fuck that smart little mouth of yours now," he added, the pace of his thrusts increasing. "And you're going to take all of me like a good little girl, aren'tyou?"

If I'd been able to speak, I would have told him that I wanted him to fuck my mouth until all I ever tasted was him, that I wanted him to take his pleasure from me. That I wanted him to come down my throat and then I wanted him to lick my pussy until I did the same to him. But because I couldn't say a word, I flicked my eyes up, hollowed my cheeks, and sucked him harder.

* * *

One of thethings that made accepting Ash’s dominance easy was how tender he could be afterward. No matter how controlling he was or how filthy he spoke to me when we were naked, once we’d both been sated he took care of me … held me in his arms and let me come down from those intense encounters. And yet these moments of intimacy also felt superficial, like they were designed to make me feel as if I was growing closer to him, without actually doingso.

I’d been through that with my marriage, but unlike Ash, Ford had liked talking to me afterward. True, our conversations had been mostly about his performance: how great he was or how much I liked what he’d done to me. In hindsight, I knew that hadn’t been true intimacy, but at least at the time I’d thought itwas.

If I was being honest with myself, part of me missed what Ford had provided in the early days of our relationship. I hadn’t felt close to someone I was fucking for years, and I craved that connection. I genuinely missed those lazy conversations in bed, the whispered confidences between kisses. And it scared me that I wanted those things with Ash. But what scared me most of all was that he didn’t want them withme.

But if you don’t try to get him to open up to you, you’ll never know forsure.

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