Page 59 of Ashes to Ashes

“Harder,” I urged, lost to everything but the feel of him in me—in both my body and my heart.

My world narrowed to this one single moment, and then the next, and the one following that, until time ceased to mean anything but the stringing together of sensation and feeling. And at the center of it all, was this man. This strong, humble, beautifully-scarred man who had shown me that I was capable of feeling again. Who, from the very first moment we’d met, when I had thought there was nothing left for me in this world, when I had believed my worth was defined by someone who’d thought me worthless, had called to me. Who had made me believe there was something to live for. Whose kindred spirit had sought me out and then, despite the years that had separated us, given me ahome.

Ash’s pace increased, and his strong thighs flexed against the back of my own, his breathing hard and erratic in my ear. “That’s it,” he hummed in approval. “That’s it, baby. Now. Give it to me. Give me everything.”

At his whispered command, my body obeyed. Reaching the pinnacle of my ecstasy, I threw myself over the edge, and all the world and all the noise and everything that didn’t matter—everything save Ash—blazed through my atmosphere as I fell from the heavens, as my body broke apart into a million shards of glass and then reformed into the toughest diamond, made stronger—made invincible—by the searing heat of my love forhim.

With the last spasm of my orgasm milking Ash’s cock, he roared my name and emptied himself into me, his hips pounding into my flesh, his strong arms holding me like a vice, his teeth digging into my shoulder. And then we collapsed into a sweaty heap of exhausted, sated limbs. Ash’s hands roamed my skin, caring for me, murmuring praise and words of encouragement while he checked to make sure I wasokay.

Ash and I had always been electric—our chemistry white hot—but it had never been like this before. I’d never felt so mastered, so trusting of another human being that my mind went quiet enough so that my body simply felt what it needed to feel. I’d never been brought as high as Ash had just taken me, and it shook me to my core because I knew I’d never be thesame.

The truth was, in the midst of it all, I’d known beyond a shadow of a doubt that I lovedhim.

I lovedhim.

With everything I’d ever been, and everything I would be in the future, I loved him. With my bleeding, broken heart and my past mistakes, and with a fervent hope that I would keep on loving him for the rest of my life until that broken heart was nothing but a distant memory.

With my body snuggled tight against his, Ash couldn’t see the tears pooling in my eyes, but he was so attuned to me, that he sensed the change in my emotions and his hand stilled on myhip.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice subdued with worry.

I nodded and he rolled me onto my back, his bulk blocking out the waning light filtering in from outside. His eyes flicked between mine, and as the tears leaked out and down the side of my face, he kissed each salty path away. “I’m sorry, Rae,” he groaned. “I lost control back there. I didn’t hurt you, didI?”

“No,” I croaked, and cleared my voice. “No, I’mfine.”

“Are yousure?”

I nodded again, and gave him a faltering smile. I was okay. Or rather, I would be okay. As soon as I figured out what I was going to do about my feelings for him. Ash and I hadn’t discussed what would happen when we left the confines of this safe cocoon, what all this meant out in the real world, but I feared that in the harsh light of reality, we’d realize we were too different. That despite how we might feel now, that what we’d built together wouldn’tlast.

I would love him for the rest of my life—of that I had no doubt—but I didn’t know if he felt the same. Oh, I knew he cared about me. That much was evident by the fact that he’d confided his deepest, darkest secrets to me, had entrusted me with his heart, but could he ever possibly love me the way I knew that I lovedhim?

“Why the tears then?” he asked, easing down and kissing my neck, my cheeks, my eyelids. “Why sosad?”

“I’m not sad,” I admitted. “I’m … I’m … ” I faltered, the words bubbling up inside of me and threatening to spill over. My love for him was strong and true, and even if he couldn’t ever love me in return, I needed him to know. I needed him to hear what was in my heart, what would always be in my heart.

But those words were difficult to say aloud. It was terrifying to open yourself up to someone, to give them your battered, bleeding heart, to hand over your trust and hopes and dreams, and say, “I’m yours. Please be careful withme.”

Staring down at me, a knowing smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “I love you too, baby. I love you so fucking much it hurts.”

He kissed me, and our hearts beat in time. Our rhythm, our harmony. A symphony of sighs and moans and yearning. And just like that, what had been battered and bruised inside of me was made strong and resilient. The future stretched out in front of me—of us—and I knew when I took my last breath, his was the face that I would see. When I left this earth, his name would be the last on my lips. When I passed into nothingness, I’d take a piece of him with me into the stars where we’d live on for eternity as a bright, enduring spark in the universe.

His forehead rested against mine, his eyes closed. “You’re my world now, Rae.”

I tangled my hands in his hair and pulled him to me for another long, languid kiss. “And you’re mine, Ash.”

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